Together

Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

So Unplanned But So Perfect

We spend so much energy staging people, getting them to say just what we want with just the right background. But nothing could be more perfect than the spontaneous fun loving affection this couple shows in a video they didn’t know they were making until it was made. I find something new to love about them every time I watch it.

The Sandpiper, A Reminder To Appreciate Life & Eachother

This came to me in an email. It is a true story with such an important lesson that I needed to share it.

 

The Sandpiper
by Robert Peterson

She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live. I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me.  She was building a sand castle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.

‘Hello,’ she said.

I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.

‘I’m building,’ she said.

‘I see that.  What is it?’  I asked, not really caring.

‘Oh, I don’t know, I just like the feel of sand..’

That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.

A sandpiper glided by.

‘That’s a joy,’ the child said.

‘It’s a what?’

‘It’s a joy.  My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy.’

The bird went gliding down the beach.  Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself, ‘hello pain’, and turned to walk on.  I was depressed; my life seemed completely out of balance.

‘What’s your name?’  She wouldn’t give up.

‘Robert,’ I answered.  ‘I’m Robert Peterson.’

‘Mine’s Wendy… I’m six.’

‘Hi, Wendy.’

She giggled.  ‘You’re funny,’ she said.

In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me.

‘Come again, Mr. P,’ she called.  ‘We’ll have another happy day.’

The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings, and an ailing mother.  The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out of the dishwater.  I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat..

The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me.  The breeze was chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed.

‘Hello, Mr. P,’ she said.  ‘Do you want to play?’

‘What did you have in mind?’ I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.

‘I don’t know.  You say.’

‘How about charades?’  I asked sarcastically..

The tinkling laughter burst forth again.  ‘I don’t know what that is.’

‘Then let’s just walk.’

Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face.
‘Where do you live?’ I asked.

‘Over there.’  She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.

Strange, I thought, in winter.

‘Where do you go to school?’

‘I don’t go to school.  Mommy says we’re on vacation.’

She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things.  When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.

Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic.  I was in no
mood to even greet Wendy.  I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like demanding she keep her child at home.
‘Look, if you don’t mind,’ I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, ‘I’d  rather be alone today.’  She seemed unusually pale and out of breath.

‘Why?’ she asked.

I turned to her and shouted, ‘Because my mother died!’ and thought, “My God, why was I saying this to a little child?”

‘Oh,’ she said quietly, ‘then this is a bad day..’

‘Yes,’ I said, ‘and yesterday and the day before and — oh, go away!’

‘Did it hurt?’ she inquired.

‘Did what hurt?’ I was exasperated with her, with myself.

‘When she died?’

‘Of course it hurt!’ I snapped, misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself.  I strode off.

A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn’t there.  Feeling guilty, ashamed, and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door.  A drawn looking young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door.

‘Hello,’ I said, ‘I’m Robert Peterson.  I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was.’

‘Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in.  Wendy spoke of you so much. I’m afraid I allowed her to bother you.  If she was a nuisance, please, accept my apologies.’.’

‘Not at all — she’s a delightful child.’  I said, suddenly realizing that I meant what I had just said.

‘Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson.  She had leukemia. Maybe she didn’t tell you.’

Struck dumb, I groped for a chair.  I had to catch my breath.

‘She loved this beach, so when she asked to come, we couldn’t say no.  She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days. But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly…’ Her voice faltered, ‘She left something for you, if only I can find it.  Could you wait a moment while I look?’

I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young woman.  She handed me a smeared envelope with ‘MR. P’ printed in bold childish letters.  Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues — a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird.  Underneath was carefully printed:

A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide.  I took Wendy’s mother in my arms.  ‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,’ I uttered over and over, and we wept together.  The precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my study.  Six words — one for each year of her life — that speak to me of harmony, courage, and undemanding love.

A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand — who taught me the gift of love.

NOTE: This is a true story sent out by Robert Peterson.  It happened over 20 years ago and the incident changed his life forever.  It serves as a reminder to all of us that we need to take time to enjoy living and life and each other. The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.

Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas can make us lose focus about what is truly important or what is only a momentary setback or crisis..

This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra hug, and by all means, take a moment…. even if it is only ten seconds, to stop and smell the roses.

The Good Things Going Around Pledge Is Spreading

A couple months ago I created the Good Things Pledge as an outlet to brighten people’s days and inspire others to live for every moment, and to see and appreciate the good that is all around. All of us have within ourselves the power to make a positive contribution. Cultivating that good through a sincere respect, caring and appreciation is one of the most important gifts we can give.

What is the Good Things Pledge? It is a simple promise to remind yourself every day of what is positive. The Pledge is a personal vow that involves appreciation, being kind and being aware that every small act has the potential for a huge impact.

Take a look at some of the people who have recently taken the Pledge.

Students in the Blue Ash YMCA CincyAfterSchool program at Pleasant Ridge Montessori.

Jill Dunne, Stephanie Johnson, and Brandy Jones of the Cincinnati Metro
marketing team

Melissa Currence with the
Greater Cincinnati Foundation

“Working at The Greater Cincinnati Foundation, I know Cincinnati has a lot to give. I have the Good Things Pledge hanging up in my workspace and it reminds me to do my best every day to help our community. Cincinnati has wonderful neighborhoods and causes to support. Let’s keep the good things going around!”

Taking the Pledge is simple. Just visit the Good Things Pledge page and fill in your information in the white box. I’ll send you your certificate.

 

Life Lessons Learned From Sam

Sam is our family companion, friend and pet. I’m his trainer (or I like to say teacher); however, it occurred to me this morning how much he is teaching us. Here are some of his lessons.

When loved ones and visitors come to your home,
always run with enthusiasm to greet them.

Give of yourself freely to others just because you can.

Thrive on the joy of just being together, of getting
and giving attention.

Remember to let everyone know they are important
and practice loyalty every day.

When someone you care about is happy,
celebrate too.

When someone you care about is having a bad day,
know that just nuzzling close may be all that is needed.

Don’t waste time being angry or sad,
life is way too short for that.

Don’t fret about the little stuff,
be joyous that this is a new day
and a new moment.

Run, romp and play every day.

Show your happiness by waggling your whole body.

Pay attention to everything meaningful.

Take time to sit on a rock and just watch the world
around you.

Lay in the grass and savor the scents carried through
the fresh air crossing your face.

Delight in the joy of a long walk with your favorite person.

Never ever pass up an opportunity to go for a ride in the car.

And don’t ever try to be anyone but yourself..

Just be the very best you can be.

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