Lisa Desatnik
Betty Finney Is Growing Young
It was 1998 when Betty Finney met the man who did the hiring for the Cincinnati Enquirer’s sales team. She was 64 years old at the time, just about the age that has many others itching to retire. She had never had a sales job before but she wanted to do that.
Not only did she get the job, she won awards every year that she worked there. One day she had a really incredible sale and she wanted her boss to know. It was pretty obvious by her expression she had something important to say. As she paused, he walked over to her. There was a moment of silence…and then she blurted it out, “I am excited, and I want to tell you that I am pregnant.”
I first heard her Enquirer story some 20 years later in a three-minute Toastmasters speech. And through coming to know her since, it has become pretty obvious, Betty is not a woman who is going to let another year around the sun slow her down. She was 78 years old when she earned a master’s degree in natural health. “I got that because I don’t care for doctors and I want to be able to care for myself,” she told me over lunch the other day.
Courageous, tenacious, funny, loyal, kind-hearted, spontaneous. Those are all words that describe this woman with too many goals to let a thing like aging stand in her way. She calls her latest business, Oomph!! Through it she offers talks and strategies for Growing Young. “Be transformed from a frail, stifled brain, dampened spirited person to a blooming mind, high energy, vibrant human being,” she has on her homepage.
It is an attitude that has served her well in life.
Betty and her husband, Charlie have been married more than 60 years. They have seven children and 15 grandkids. They rarely argue. They are independent. They are trusting of one another. They take risks. They love to travel. They love each other. And together, life is never boring.
Their stories are priceless.
LIKE when their seventh child was due and fathers were not allowed in delivery rooms, only Charlie wanted to be there. 
Betty happened to have read a book that suggested if your doctor would not allow it, to tell your doctor that you would handcuff each other together. Charlie mentioned it to their OBGYN, who, after some thought, told the couple, “Betty usually delivers in the middle of the night so we will dress you in a doctor’s attire and you can hide your camera underneath and I will tell them you are allowed.” And, that is how Charlie witnessed the birth of his youngest child.
LIKE when the couple were vacationing in Costa Rica in their 60s and Charlie mentioned zip lining. Betty didn’t know what she was getting herself into, and then, when it was over, they were asked if they wanted to do the Tarzan swing. “I said, ‘ok’,” Betty told me. “So we did that too. We were told that whoever screamed the loudest would get a gift. I screamed pretty loud.”
LIKE when Betty announced one day after years of staying home to be with her kids that she didn’t want to do the housewife thing any longer. She was prepared for Charlie’s objection…that didn’t come. When asked what she wanted to do, Betty told her husband, “have a career.” And he told her, “then go do it!”
After Betty began working and the realization hit her that keeping a household running and keeping the laundry clean was going to be tough, again she found no resistance. What did he do instead? Betty shared the story. “He said he was going to announce at dinner that everyone will do their own laundry. That means everything,” she told me. “He did that and everyone was like, ‘No Way!’ He also made me promise that if I did any of the laundry for anyone, that he would never make an announcement like that again. A couple weeks later he said that he couldn’t find his blue jeans, the ones he put down the laundry shoot…we negotiated.”
By the way, when Betty was applying for that first job, she didn’t have a whole lot to include on a professional resume but she figured she gained some pretty valuable experience in her years at home. She called that position, “household maintenance engineer”. It was that title that got her the job doing public relations for Kathrine Switzer’s Avon Running. (It most certainly was not because she told her future boss in the interview that she had never un or even seen a race.)
Fast forward to 2018
Betty and I are sitting across the table from each other having lunch. She wants to know if I have any connections with prisons.
Connections with prisons?
Yep! You see, she had presented her program three times at a local prison, talking to the inmates about using laughter as a way of removing tension. One of those inmates rolled on the floor, kicking his feet up in pure, unadulterated joy. After her third visit she remembers seeing them line up single file. She had to pass in front of them to exit, and, when she got in front of them, they began clapping in the way that she had taught them until she was out the door. “I cried all the way home because I knew I had gotten to them for some happiness in their day,” Betty said.
A year later she was approached in a card store. “Are you Betty? Did you do the laughter at Riverside Prison?,” he asked as Betty realized he was the man who rolled on his back. “I just want to tell you that I am out of prison. I made one dumb mistake and learned my lesson in prison. Thank you for laughing with me. It made a big impact on me.”
I think Betty has a big impact on everyone who comes in her path. It is just her way.
Question to Betty: What is your personal philosophy on life?
“To love everybody but first love yourself. Be happy. Be positive. Negativity will get in your way every time.”
Kay Inspires High Heeled Success
It was some twenty-five years ago but it was a moment Kay Fittes will always remember. Sitting beside her husband on their way back from vacation, Kay looked at Barry and asked him, “Guess what I am going to do on Monday?”
Puzzled, he simply told her, “I have no idea.”
The rest of that conversation went something like this…
Kay: “I am going to give a month’s notice at work.”
Barry: “And do what?”
Kay: “I am going to start my own businesses.”
Barry: “With what?”
Kay: “With plastic.”
What followed was “beyond terrifying,” Kay told me. “I don’t know that I didn’t wake up to feel panicked for five years.”
Admittedly, that is not exactly the advice she would give any other woman but it was a decision that just seemed right at the time. Kay was doing mental health training and education for a Cincinnati psychologist. She had written a contract for her employer that would allow her to do 40 hours of work, with 10 of those hours to be done at home. “Just before our vacation, someone stopped me in the office one day and told me there was a problem,” Kay shared. “She told me my co-workers were complaining because I was making them look bad.”
Life is like that sometimes. We get knocked down and then come to realize, it really was just all part of this bigger plan to move us to make life decisions we may not have chosen otherwise. Decisions that open doors we didn’t know were closed. Decisions that push us to get out of our comfort zone, dig deep to find our inner passion, and pursue that passion with a vigor.
That is exactly what happened for this woman across the table from me. I first met Kay in a five-minute conversation during the Cincinnati Business Courier’s Mentor Monday BizWomen event. I have really gotten to know her through my Toast of the Town Toastmasters Club (she is one of the founding members). She is someone who I respect, admire and see as a role model. She also is someone who is just fun to be around.
The Beginning Of Her Journey
And so, in 1990, with her piece of plastic, her experience as a mental health therapist and facilitator, and her expertise as a business trainer and presenter, she founded her company as Strategies for Women Growth, now High-Heeled Success, LLC.
Over the next 28 years, she has spoken to close to 100,000 women and presented over 2,500 seminars, workshops, and keynotes. She is the author of Achieving High-Heeled SuccessTM: 50 Ways for Career-Oriented Women to Succeed. Her second book, How to Raise Your Self-Esteem: A Self-Enhancement System for Women, is part of the curriculum of the Hamilton County Ohio Justice Center Women’s Substance Abuse Treatment Program. Kay also has authored Your Guide to Life-Changing Presentations and created the CD Panic to Power: Swift and Simple Strategies Anyone Can Use. She has served as a consultant and presenter to the business, medical and educational communities providing programming to such diverse groups as Ethicon, IBM, General Electric, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, and the Ohio Department of Education.
Kay is a member of the National Speakers Association; the American Society for Training and Development; the National Association for Self-Esteem; the Association of Female Executives; the American Association for University Women; and eWomenNetwork. She is past vice president of the Ohio Council for Self-Esteem, past area governor for Toastmasters International. She holds an Advanced Toastmaster designation and has won numerous speaking contests. In addition, she is a Certified Trainer and holds a Credential for Leadership Training. Kay also sits on several advisory boards for women’s advancement.
“I’d love to say there are never days like what I experienced in the beginning. It still happens when a business opportunity does not go the way I wanted it to go but the days are fewer and father apart,” she said, “I love what I do.”
Getting To Know Kay
Lisa: Mentors can play such a pivotal role in our personal success. Who was a role model for you in your career?
Kay: I have had so many, however, one person who made the biggest difference for me was my second boss. I was lifelong Girl Scout before we moved to Georgia. I was trying to get into the mental health field. My boss suggested that I go see Gail Kirocofe at the Girl Scouts office. I interviewed with her and she became my greatest mentor. She saw things in me that I didn’t know where there. She was a softly powerful woman and to this day, when I get in tough spots, I ask how Gail would handle it.
I later had a chance to track her down. She is in her 80s now and recently wrote a children’s book. I was able to tell her, ’I am where I am today because of you’ and that was pretty exciting. If she hadn’t seen what she saw in me, which I didn’t even see, I don’t know where I’d be today.
That is what I aim to do now with other women. I just participated in Mentoring Monday with Business Courier again as the fifth time this year and it is wonderful to give back.
One of the things I know is that we are all role models. Someone is always watching us and if we can stay aware of that, we will be our better self because we know that people are watching and emulating.
Lisa: What is a piece of advice you give to other women?
Kay: One piece of advice is to unlearn the mantra, ‘Work hard, be good at what you do and you will succeed.’ That is a big fat screaming lie. We can work our backsides off but if we are the best kept secret in town, then we will be the worker bee and not get the opportunities, the respect and the rewards that we want. It is an ongoing game plan to say, ‘How do I become more visible? Do I have advocates, and have an intentional strategy for how am I going to get to where I want to go other than just working tail end off?’
Lisa: I’d love to learn more about your simple pleasures.
Kay: We have two wonderful granddaughters. One is 10 and the other is 3. With my oldest granddaughter, I find myself wanting to be that role model to give her the kinds of guidance and opportunities that I didn’t have as a child. The three-year old is just plain screaming fun. I am enjoying every minute of that.
I am also passionate about antiques. We did a major remodel several years ago and go on antiquing trips. When I finally find that specific piece, wow, what a rush that is! Everything I collect is something we use. It is a pleasure I enjoy tremendously.
A Voice For Accessibility
I first met Heather Sturgill in Cincinnati City Hall last year at a historic event. Cincinnati City Council’s Education and Entrepreneurship Committee heard testimonies on the importance of disability inclusion in hiring practices and accessibility of new and renovated buildings. One-by-one individuals moved forward, sharing personal stories, giving statistics, talking of basic human rights and shared humanity, being an advocate for themselves and for others, and collectively telling the world that ALL people deserve equal rights to participate, to contribute, to live and work and play.
The message was loud and clear – inclusion is not only about one person. It is about US. It is about strengthening communities, workplaces, schools and places of faith, and the economy.
Since graduating the University of Cincinnati with a bachelor’s degree in urban studies and a master’s degree in community planning, Heather has been a voice heard often around town when it comes to making our region more livable for everyone. She is owner/consultant of JOVIS, a company that addresses barriers to community living.
Her list of engagement and accomplishments is lengthy. Though recently concluding her term on the Board of Apple Street Market, she is still extremely active in the efforts towards creating a viable model for grocery stores in neighborhoods that will increase access to fresh foods, provide family sustaining jobs, and serve as a catalyst for neighborhood revitalization. Prior to that she encouraged citizens to become active in their neighborhood organizations when she served on the Executive Board of Citizens for Civic Renewal. She has also served on the Northside Community Council and was chair of the Northside Comprehensive Land Use Plan Update, a project intended to establish the direction of Northside development (economic, housing, recreational and educational) for at least the next 10 years. Always an advocate for the disadvantaged, early in her adult life she was a founding Board member of the Independent Cosmetologists and Barbers’ Association, an organization that protected the professional interests of independent business owners in an industry politically dominated by corporate interests.
Heather was recently elected president of Housing Opportunities Made Equal (HOME) where she hopes to further fair housing and encourage the creation of more economically integrated, affordable and accessible housing in the region. As a member of the University Center for Excellence in Developmental Disabilities Education (UCEDD) Community Advisory Committee she helps them create and direct their resources in the areas of education, research and service to meet the needs of people with developmental disabilities. Heather also is the newly elected chair of Cincinnati Accessibility Board of Advisors where she works with city administration on efforts to improve accessibility to goods, services, and economic opportunity for persons with disabilities. And, as if that wasn’t enough, Heather also serves on the Core Committee of Home Think Tank where she enjoys the opportunity to find, explore and share creative housing solutions for people with disabilities.
She shares her passion right up front in her LinkedIn profile. “My personal background has fostered a higher level of awareness of the benefits of diversity to everyone in a community. I fully recognize that in order to build the bridges of communication and true dialogue it is important to identify and have an appreciation for other people’s views. In these economically challenged times it is necessary to think outside the box and encourage an environment of innovation, recognizing that everyone is important and that some amazing ideas can come from the most unexpected places.”
So, where does this drive come from? Why has Heather devoted her professional career and personal life toward removing barriers for people and neighborhoods?
For the answer to that, we must go back to April 15, 2000. That was a fateful date that would forever change the course of her life. An accident that nearly took her life, left her without use of her legs, her trunk, her arms, hands and fingers. While in the hospital, her lungs kept filling with fluid and she was not even able to call a nurse. Her husband, who spent every night of that three-month stay with her, saved her life.
Released three month later, Heather returned to their home – an old, shotgun-style house that was three rooms deep and three stories high. Her husband rigged up a ramp but, “It was incredibly difficult for people to help me in and out. It was just ssssoooooo incredibly scary,” she told UC’s Mary Reilly.
Lisa: With all that you have been involved with, please talk about an accomplishment, its impact and why it is important to you?
Heather: Though I’ve helped a couple cities make their zoning codes friendlier to developers that want to make projects more accessible, it doesn’t matter unless the developers want to take advantage of the new opportunities. If you don’t have the conversations with developers in a way that gets them excited, then the tool, or opportunity languishes unused. Because of this, I take every opportunity to communicate ideas and information with as many people as possible; with differing backgrounds, economic status, beliefs, ethnicities, industries, etc.
So, when Doug Hinger of D-Haus or TJ Ackerman of Hearth Home tell me they are changing their product lines/designs and will, at the minimum, be building to visitable standards, and tell me that the decision was because of conversations with me…I get supper excited!
But, I don’t want to discount how fabulous it feels to see someone’s face light up because you helped them navigate frustrating bureaucracy and get a permit, or successfully fight a fine, or get access to transportation.
Lisa: What can people do on a personal level to be more inclusive?
Heather: Be patient, receptive and open to others unlike yourself. You might be surprised at how much you have in common.
When someone asks you “Can this ______________ be done?” or “Can I ____________?” Always try to think of “yes” first, followed by brainstorming alone, or with others, on the ways to reach the goal. And, try to be goal oriented when determining requirements. For example, think about how some job requirements are written. Which is more open to creative solutions: “Must have a valid drivers license”, or “Must be able to attend meetings away from the office and possibly during non-traditional work hours.” The second one allows for creative solutions like the applicant using public transportation, taxis, walking, biking, friends, or ride share like Uber and Lyft.
Newtown Giving Box Is Little Food Pantry
I have seen little pop up libraries around town – small stands in residential neighborhoods inside which are books for people to take, read and enjoy. But I have never seen a pop-up food pantry before…until I heard about a project by a group of Turpin High School students in their school’s chapter of the Future Business Leaders of America. It is part of the business management class.
The Newtown Giving Box is a hand-made container that is shaped like a house, and has a large door that opens to containment blocks where non-perishable food, hygiene and household items are stored for those in need to anonymously stop by and take what they need. The free little pantry is a partnership with the Newtown United Methodist Church (3546 Church Street; 45244) – where it is located – and is stocked by community donors, many of whom are Turpin students. It is to help families and individuals who struggle with occasional food insecurities.
“One of the biggest things we have learned is that there are people everywhere who need help,” said Jessie Pierce, Club vice president, “and, where there are people in need, there are people willing to help. I have always loved community service. This has really opened my eyes to who I am helping.
“The Newtown Giving Box has taught us a lot about leadership and how much it takes even for a smaller project. It was a lot of work to get this in the ground.”
I asked some of the other Club participants for their thoughts. This is what they shared.
Lindsey Viel told me, “A teacher said that someone else wants to do this now. That makes me happy that we have opened other people’s eyes too.”
“This week was the first time we saw it being used substantially. When I showed photos to our class, it was so exciting. It makes me feel like I am contributing to the community which is a really good feeling,” said Molly Campbell, Club president.
The students maintain a Facebook page where they post what is needed. Your contributions are very welcome.
What is accepted:
– Non-perishable food items: peanut butter, canned meats, canned fruit and vegetables, nuts, grains, bread, crackers, baby formula, baby food, pasta, etc.
– Hygiene Items: Shampoo, Conditioner, toothpaste, deodorant, body wash, feminine care products, children’s bath products, etc.
– Household Items: Toilet paper, paper towels, dish soap, sponges, diapers, etc.
Kindness Toward Seniors
The other day, after I shared a story about my mom on Facebook there was a short discussion of seniors. Brigid Mclinden Duffy shared some of her experiences and thoughts on kindness toward and appreciation of older adults. I thought it was so touching that I wanted to share her words. I hope 
they inspire you too to think about how your actions can brighten someone else’s day.
In her own words…
“I told a very elderly man in church today that he has a wonderful smile! You would have thought I gave him $1000 dollars. He was tickled and his shoulders pulled up out of their slouch, he stood a little more erect and it almost looked like he was a little younger all of a sudden!! But besides caring, kind words, we must not forget the gift of touch! Some go years after the death of a spouse or friend, never feeling a hug, a gentle kiss on the check or a nice back rub! Yet who of us would want to end up never experiencing the kindness of a hand on ours, the gentle tickle of a kiss on the cheek or the back of our neck, the warmth and soothing feel of someone’s head on your shoulder?
Another perspective . . .
When I am walking into a store or church and an elderly person is moving slowly they often say oh go ahead around me. Well I don’t. I tell them they are giving me the gift of time, calmness and relaxing. And I thank them. I feel this takes away the sense of feeling a bother and gives them a sense of being able to do or give back to another. We each gave gifts to share. The bright side is realizing and accepting the gift of another!
Our gifts of touch, smiles, time and even just a simple comment can help someone get through a very lonely day or difficult day!”
– Brigid McLinden Duffy
