Lisa Desatnik
The Value Of Mentoring – One Volunteer’s Story
Note: this is a guest post written by Nora Cordrey
As young people around the Tri-State and across the nation prepare for the rite of passage known as high school graduation, take a moment to think about the ones who had to overcome incredible odds to get there. In many families, going to college is a given. Other teens have never known an adult who finished high school and chose to continue their education. To many, that sends a less than positive message about the value of education.
As a volunteer with Big Brother Big Sisters of Greater Cincinnati, I’ve spent years mentoring Jamaysha. We met when she was 9—wide-eyed and full of spirit, but also a victim of a world she didn’t create. Her father died before she was born, she seldom sees her mother, her guardian passed away when Jamaysha was 14, and she’s been enrolled in five school districts because of constantly having to move.
Through it all, as her “Big Sister,” I have encouraged her to stay focused on her school and to take advantage of every opportunity. My husband and I learned of the Upward Bound program which assists first generation college-bound students with tutoring, enrichment activities and developing leadership skills. Once she was accepted into Upward Bound, Jamaysha committed to and has participated in the program for the last four years. This involvement, and her hard work, has helped prepare her for college. In the Fall, she will attend Cincinnati State, studying culinary arts.
My “Little Sister” is graduating from high school, one of the few members of her family to do so. She ranks 34th in a class of 220 with a grade point average of 3.13. She’s an inspiration. Not content to sit on the sidelines, and overcoming transportation issues, she found a way to participate in several extra-curricular activities and hold a job. She has learned the value and pleasure of giving back to the community and we have volunteered together at charity events. I believe Jamaysha will someday be an incredible mentor herself.
I am not Jamaysha’s only mentor and join teachers past and present, our Big Brothers Big Sisters case manager, the director of Upward Bound, Jamaysha’s family and others in congratulating her and all the other young people who are overcoming circumstances to find success.
As adults, we have a responsibility to the young people in our community. There are many more Tri-State children who need mentors, who need guides as they head into the future. The mission of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Cincinnati is to help children become successful in school and in life. Surely that’s what we all want and, surely, what all children deserve.
Consider becoming a mentor today.
Dog Training – Counter Conditioning To Overcome Fear
NOTE: I have a new pet behavior blog located at http://www.SoMuchPETential.com/blog. Thanks!
It was the Fourth of July and everyone likes a good fireworks show on the Fourth of July, right? Wrong!
Not Sam, my parents’ dearly beloved four legged companion who loves playing outside ready to greet every passerby with a tail wag. Sam has even learned to ask to go out by ringing a bell or running to find my mom or dad, nudging them and running toward the door. It happens pretty often…but stopped briefly after my parents’ neighbors thought it be fun to have their own fireworks 
show on the holiday. At least it stopped at nightfall.
Suddenly being outside in the dark became a trigger for panic (rapid heart rate, tense muscles, running away). No matter what my dad tried, he couldn’t get Sam out the door willingly as soon as darkness descended. And, if he could get Sam outside by pulling Sam on a leash, the little guy would run charging back to the door. By day two, my parents let Sam stay in at night (he’s young and luckily can hold things until morning) until I could come over and work with him.
What did I do? I put my education to the test by using the most positive, least intrusive strategies I know to re-teach Sam that being outside after dark can be pretty darned fun. And in one night, that’s what he learned.
I used what is called systematic desensitization, a process of gradually exposing Sam to the fear-eliciting stimulus (outside darkness) WITHOUT unexpected loud noise, in small, incremental steps. The criteria for advancing to the next step was watching his calm behavior and only moving forward at a pace that did not elicit even the mildest of his fear responses. The beauty of systematic desensitization is that Sam was always in total control. His body language dictated whether we moved forward or stepped backward. And I don’t know about you but I like knowing I have the power to control my situation.
Here’s what I did. Starting far enough from the door where he was calm with his tail wagging, I gave him a treat, petted him and was silly with him. We slowly moved toward the door. If I noticed any sign of escape behavior, we backed up to where he was comfortable again. Then we started over. In the first session, we got to within about five feet from the door. We stopped and came back to it a half hour later.
By the next session Sam stood at my side as I touched the door, then opened it slightly without his showing any sign of tensed muscles or looking like he was going to run away. Fifteen minutes later we tried again and this time he touched his front feet outside the door before he backed up. That was time to stop for a half hour and start again. The next time we started with him at the door. He walked all the way through the doorway and I held it open so that he knew he could run the other way if he chose to. The choice was always within his power of his own body language. However, once he was outside, I raised the bar by grabbing a squeaky toy.
Suddenly all he could think about was playing. We got down the steps and I took off running. He charged after me and the thought of running to the door was furthest in his mind.
Sam had just re associated being outside in the dark with play because he had the power to decide when ‘he’ was ready to move to the next step and because I paired being outside with some of his favorite activities. That’d be eating, playing and getting attention. In scientific terms, that re association is counter counditioning a fear eliciting stimulus into a feel-good eliciting stimulus. Systematic desensitization on steroids my teacher likes to say. In other words, I drained darkness as an elicitor of rapid heart rate, tense muscles and running away and helped counter condition darkness into a predictor of good things for Sam.
And hey, I’m all for good things!
Cincinnati Is Singing – 2012 World Choir Games Song
Cincy Story Mural Unveils Project
Cincy Story Mural Design Team
Several months I told you about a project bringing Cincinnati’s diverse community together through written and visual stories. That project – Cincy Story Mural – is a between Starfire Council, DIY Printing, Public Allies, and Cincy.com, with artist Krista Brinkmeyer at its helm. And this Wednesday night at 6:30 p.m. at Starfire, after months of dedicated work, collaboration, artistry and mindfulness, the murals will be unveiled. (Starfire is located at 5030 Oaklawn Drive; Cincinnati, OH 45227) Everyone is invited!
The four murals will be installed at four locations:
Coalition for the Homeless, Over the Rhine
Norwood City Schools, Norwood
Santa Maria, East Price Hill
Starfire, Madisonville
About Cincy Story Mural:
The visionary behind the project, Krista is her late 20’s, and has always had a passion for expressing herself through storytelling – sometimes by capturing moments in photographs and sometimes through written word. She also has a knack for making friends, an important quality for any role let alone the role of project director.
Cincy Story Mural used harvesting events – get togethers where the public has been invited to share photos, videos, narratives, and drawings to help tell the story of their unique corner of the world in four murals.
