Lisa Desatnik
The Sandpiper, A Reminder To Appreciate Life & Eachother
This came to me in an email. It is a true story with such an important lesson that I needed to share it.
The Sandpiper
by Robert Peterson
She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live. I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.
‘Hello,’ she said.
I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.
‘I’m building,’ she said.
‘I see that. What is it?’ I asked, not really caring.
‘Oh, I don’t know, I just like the feel of sand..’
That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.
A sandpiper glided by.
‘That’s a joy,’ the child said.
‘It’s a what?’
‘It’s a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy.’
The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself, ‘hello pain’, and turned to walk on. I was depressed; my life seemed completely out of balance.
‘What’s your name?’ She wouldn’t give up.
‘Robert,’ I answered. ‘I’m Robert Peterson.’
‘Mine’s Wendy… I’m six.’
‘Hi, Wendy.’
She giggled. ‘You’re funny,’ she said.
In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me.
‘Come again, Mr. P,’ she called. ‘We’ll have another happy day.’
The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings, and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out of the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat..
The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed.
‘Hello, Mr. P,’ she said. ‘Do you want to play?’
‘What did you have in mind?’ I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.
‘I don’t know. You say.’
‘How about charades?’ I asked sarcastically..
The tinkling laughter burst forth again. ‘I don’t know what that is.’
‘Then let’s just walk.’
Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face.
‘Where do you live?’ I asked.
‘Over there.’ She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.
Strange, I thought, in winter.
‘Where do you go to school?’
‘I don’t go to school. Mommy says we’re on vacation.’
She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.
Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no
mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like demanding she keep her child at home.
‘Look, if you don’t mind,’ I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, ‘I’d rather be alone today.’ She seemed unusually pale and out of breath.
‘Why?’ she asked.
I turned to her and shouted, ‘Because my mother died!’ and thought, “My God, why was I saying this to a little child?”
‘Oh,’ she said quietly, ‘then this is a bad day..’
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘and yesterday and the day before and — oh, go away!’
‘Did it hurt?’ she inquired.
‘Did what hurt?’ I was exasperated with her, with myself.
‘When she died?’
‘Of course it hurt!’ I snapped, misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself. I strode off.
A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn’t there. Feeling guilty, ashamed, and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door.
‘Hello,’ I said, ‘I’m Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was.’
‘Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much. I’m afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please, accept my apologies.’.’
‘Not at all — she’s a delightful child.’ I said, suddenly realizing that I meant what I had just said.
‘Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn’t tell you.’
Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.
‘She loved this beach, so when she asked to come, we couldn’t say no. She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days. But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly…’ Her voice faltered, ‘She left something for you, if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?’
I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with ‘MR. P’ printed in bold childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues — a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:
A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide. I took Wendy’s mother in my arms. ‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,’ I uttered over and over, and we wept together. The precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six words — one for each year of her life — that speak to me of harmony, courage, and undemanding love.
A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand — who taught me the gift of love.
NOTE: This is a true story sent out by Robert Peterson. It happened over 20 years ago and the incident changed his life forever. It serves as a reminder to all of us that we need to take time to enjoy living and life and each other. The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas can make us lose focus about what is truly important or what is only a momentary setback or crisis..
This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra hug, and by all means, take a moment…. even if it is only ten seconds, to stop and smell the roses.
Haley & Caroline Have Juvenile Diabetes & They Want Their Lawmakers To Know
Haley Palmore of West Chester (Ohio), 16, and Caroline Cain of Covington (Kentucky), 13, just came back from Washington D.C. where they had a once in a lifetime opportunity to educate lawmakers about a disease that has had a profound impact on their life – type 1 diabetes. It was all part of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation’s (JDRF) Children’s Congress 2011 where 150 young people nationwide gathered to do their part to affect funding for type 1 diabetes research.
That was a big charge for these girls but they were excited about the challenge and proud of their accomplishment. It was definitely a journey of personal value.
“I was really proud of myself for speaking up. I’ve never done public speaking before but I knew what I was going to say,” said Haley. “For me, it was very important to be there. Every year my family raises a lot of money. We all want a cure and we’re all in this together.”
Both Haley and Caroline have learned important lessons in responsibility from their having to manage a disease that requires them to check their blood sugar 10 to 12 times daily…but they do not let diabetes define them.
Diagnosed at age 5, Haley has lived with an insulin pump since age 7. She is a student at Cincinnati Hills Christian Academy and she swims year round for the Mason Manta Rays. She is the daughter of Mark and Carla Palmore, and has a younger brother.
Caroline was diagnosed at age 4 and has lived with an insulin pump since age 6. She is a student at Covington Latin and active in soccer, tennis and other school activities. She is the daughter of Carla and John Cain and has three sisters.
“I wanted to go to Washington because I wanted to make a difference,” said Caroline. “Funding is needed and I wanted to help get the FDA to approve home trials of the artificial pancreas. I think we definitely made people more aware of the issues with diabetes.”
(Pictured on left: Haley Palmore; on right: Carolyn Cain)
Cincinnati Reds Rookie Success League Taught Skills For Baseball…And Life
“Baseball is such a metaphor with life. There is so much humility built into the game. We knew with the right volunteers and leadership, the League could bring that message home.”
~ Charley Frank, Cincinnati Reds Community Fund executive director
What a wonderful gift the Cincinnati Reds Community Fund has given local children in urban neighborhoods. Each summer for the past nine years, Schmidt Fields has been filled with laughter and hi-fives. Kids, many of whom had never picked up a baseball before, are creating memories, learning the fundamentals of America’s favorite pastime, and being prepared for an enriched life in a character-based curriculum.
The Cincinnati Reds Rookie Success League is a free summer coed camp. At Schmidt Field – two days a week there are more than 170 kids from YMCA of Greater Cincinnati afterschool programs and some from the Cincinnati Boys and Girls Clubs; and two days a week there are children from the Cincinnati Recreation Commission. There are also camps in Fairfield, Mason, and Louisville. Collectively, more than 1,500 children participated this year.
“At the YMCA we know participating in sports is a great way for teaching kids that being active is a lot of fun, and more than that, sports are also a great environment to build their confidence and teach them skills that will help them grow into positive, contributing adults later in life,” said Chuck Barlage, executive director of the Williams YMCA who coordinated the YMCA participation. “We are so appreciative to the Cincinnati Reds for stepping forward to provide these learning experiences for our kids.”
According to the Reds, minus interns and a handful of staff, the vast majority of the coaches are volunteers who care. Some of the Cincinnati Reds players also stopped by.
“The league is intended to teach the game in a very safe, fun and non-threatening environment,” said Charley Frank, executive director of the Cincinnati Reds Community Fund. “However, we want the kids to leave with familiarity with the “Six Stars of Success” that we teach each day – Cooperation; Integrity; Respect; Education; Determination and Spirit.”
About the Reds Community Fund:
Since its inception in 2001, the Reds Community Fund has used baseball as a vehicle to reach out to kids. As the nonprofit arm of baseball’s first professional team, the Community Fund strives to create programming that connects underserved children with baseball, while creating fundraising programs that connect baseball with the community. Whether it’s renovating baseball fields, providing opportunities to kids with disabilities, underwriting expenses for inner-city teams or hosting its “Reds Rookie Success League,” the Reds Community Fund is dedicated to improving the lives of youth through baseball. On the web at: www.redsyouthbaseball.org
DeVont’e Roach Is Reaching For His Dream
Earlier this year before a packed auditorium at the School for Creative and Performing Arts, a young man with a destiny came onto the stage. DeVont’e Roach was one of 40 teens being honored that night by the YMCA of Greater Cincinnati for living his life upon the values of caring, respect, responsibility and honesty. He is a young person totally committed to making this world a better place, to living out dreams and giving your voice purpose.
A recent graduate of Purcell Marian High School, DeVont’e is already an accomplished philanthropist, singer, song writer and composer. And at the end of this summer he will also be a student at the acclaimed Berklee College of Music in Boston with help from a scholarship.
Tonight on Fountain Square, DeVont’e will become the 15th recipient of a Michael W. Bany Scholarship, established in honor of Cincinnati’s popular musician who was murdered after a performance in 1995. After the presentation DeVot’e will sing a song with the Sonny Moorman Group as part of the PNC Summer Music Series.
How exciting for him!
Below is the bio for DeVont’e from the YMCA Character Awards (written in April, 2011)
Life isn’t always easy, but often times through perseverance you gain strength and a renewed direction. In DeVont’e’s case, he grew wings. The academic honors student has found his spark in music and giving back. At 18, DeVont’e is already an accomplished songwriter and composer with two recently released singles. His yearning to make a difference has found him in Mississippi helping with Hurricane Katrina clean-up, in Kenya teaching children and spreading the message of peace, and in school sitting on his student council. DeVont’e also co-edits a newsletter for nonprofit Elementz, serves as youth commissioner for the Cincinnati Recreation Commission, and works part-time at the Melrose YMCA. He has been honored with the Public Speaking Artistry Award by the Fine Arts Fund, and with the Freshman Leadership and Morality Awards from his high school.
Voices of Giving Awards Honor Philanthropists
So often I talk about how fortunate I am to be working with and among some of this community’s most generous individuals and organizations making meaningful impact.
The Greater Cincinnati Planned Giving Council (GCPGC) and its Voices of Giving Awards is one example. This is the fourth year I have helped them with post event coverage. The GCPGC is a professional association of individuals whose life work is to help to ensure the viability of nonprofits. This year at CET, a studio was filled with representatives from some of those charitable organizations as 22 diverse area philanthropists and two financial advisers – all of whom share a common trait of selfless generosity – were honored. Voices of Giving Award recipients have contributed to the long term sustainability of meaningful causes through bequests or planned gifts.
“Our honorees have been touched in diverse ways by area non-profits and their passion runs deep. Their choice to create a lasting legacy through causes so close to their hearts will impact lives now and in the future,” said GCPGC Voices of Giving Awards Co-Chair Carol Stevie.
2011 Voices of Giving Honorees
Heidi Jark and Steve Kenat on behalf of the American Cancer Society
Pauline Strayhorne on behalf of CET
Chuck Goering on behalf of Children, Inc.
The Honorable Julia A. Stautberg (posthumously) on behalf of the Cincinnati
Bar Association
Andrew MacAoidh Jergens on behalf of Cincinnati Playhouse In The Park
Dan and Irene Randolph on behalf of the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra
Jack and Peggy Bunker on behalf of CISE Foundation
Harry Kangis and Julia Hawgood on behalf of Episcopal Retirement Homes
Anne Heldman on behalf of the Jewish Federation of Cincinnati
Oakley and Eva Farris on behalf of Northern Kentucky University
William and Phyllis Augspurger on behalf of People Working Cooperatively
Barbara M. Stern on behalf of Ronald McDonald House Charities of Greater Cincinnati
John F. and Susan C. Hoerner on behalf of the United Way of Greater Cincinnati
John D. and Ruth Erhardt on behalf of The Wellness Community of Greater Cincinnati
and Northern Kentucky
Professional advisors honored:
Robert Brant on behalf of the Jewish Federation of Cincinnati
Timothy E. Johnson, Ph.D., on behalf of GCPGC
To view video interviews with the honorees on CET Connect, please click here.
For more information on the Greater Cincinnati Planned Giving Council, please visit www.gcpgc.org.