Lisa Desatnik
People Matter At The Motz Corporation
I have played my share of sports growing up. Still, I honestly never would have imagined myself getting so excited about a company that builds turf for athletic fields.
But I get very excited when I think about The Motz Group (and its sister company– USGreentech, which focuses on turf infills). It is one of the fastest growing and most respected companies in its industry not because of the quality of its product (although the quality of its product is superior), but because of its focus on bringing out the best in people, and inspiring integrity and values in everyone who comes in its path.
The Motz Corporation, parent company of The Motz Group and USGreentech, has been awarded a Top Workplaces 2019 honor by The Cincinnati Enquirer. The list is based solely on employee feedback gathered through a third-party survey. In 2016, it became a certified Evergreen company. Evergreen companies strive to positively impact their employees, customers, suppliers, communities and families. It was named to Forbes 2018 Small Giants list for valuing greatness over growth – the same year became an employee owned company.
I first came to know The Motz Corporation when I saw a tweet about three initiatives to give back to the community. It pointed to a page that explained them:
The Impact Fund – an annual impact fund that is funded by employees (and matched by the Motz Corporation) to create grants for nonprofit organizations
Make It Grow – a holiday effort where the company gives every employee a dollar amount to spend as they wish with one stipulation, they must use the money to do good.
Personal Time Off for Charitable Volunteering – in addition to the company having a volunteer service day (which is tied to the company’s annual Service Dinner celebrating employees and spouses) they are each given four days of volunteer time off annually to help a cause of their choice.
I had a feeling there was more to this story than what I read, so I set out to learn more.
Ross Vocke, USGreentech operations manager chairing the company’s Culture Committee, told me his story beginning about five years ago. He was young in his career. He was challenged to give back. He began flex time, coming in to the office late on Thursdays so he could tutor at a local school. It has become habitual, every Thursday morning since. “It rejuvenates me,” he told me. “It makes me forget about the issues I may be working on, or gives me a new, positive perspective on them. I am more willing to go out of my way to help others now because I see the impact. Personally, it makes me want to do more whenever I can and others here have done it too.”
The Motz Corporation actually has three main focus platforms – developing community, individual and company – each with its own committee of employees who come up with impact ideas and how to implement those ideas. The Motz University Training Center to develop a passionate, engaged team is one example. A few other examples include providing as much flexibility as possible for employees (focused on deliverables rather than hours worked), open book management that is transitioning into an Employee Stock Ownership program, and the ‘Keep It Real’ program which is about “taking people in leadership and saying that you are never too big to get into the field and work side-by-side with the front line,” described founder and CEO Joe Motz. On the community side, among its projects, the company has an annual Service Day and partners with its suppliers to create even further good.
For its 2019 Service Day, employees of The Motz Corporation spent a day in April volunteering at Holmes High School.
“Our employees are provided with the support and encouragement to give back,” Ross said. “and it has a ripple effect. When you do something nice for someone else, that person will do something nice for others.”
On the day that I visited, it just happened to be Thankful Thursday. That is a monthly event where employees set aside time for some beers or other beverages and celebrate for what they are grateful, and what they accomplished – personally and professionally. What an incredible idea!
Their headquarters are in an inconspicuous little office building just a short drive – and actually within walking distance – from my favorite scenic canoe livery (50 West). In the grassy area that surrounds the parking lot, there is a vegetable garden. That is where employees grow produce for the Newtown Interparish Ministry (with help from pantry volunteers who have been recipients of the generosity). Up the flight of stairs and through the front door, the first thing that struck me was the sign painted on the wall, (actually on two walls) so large it can’t be missed. It reads, “Welcome to where people matter”. And truly, this is the atmosphere I felt with every interaction with every person I met.
A container on the front desk was filled with little accordion folded hand outs that explain the The Motz Corportion’s 34 fundamentals. Every week, company-wide, they focus on one of those values via emails and discussions. Before every meeting of three or more people, the first item of business is sharing thoughts around that week’s focus.
These are just a few of those fundamentals:
Act with integrity. Demonstrate an unwavering commitment to doing the right thing, especially when no one’s looking. Always tell the truth, no matter the consequences. If you make a mistake, own up to it, apologize, and make it right.
Listen to understand. Listening is more than ‘not speaking’. Give others your undivided attention. Minimize distractions. Be present and engaged. Let go of the needs to agree or disagree. Suspend your judgement and be curious to know more before coming to conclusions.
Assume positive intent. Work from the assumption that people are good, fair, and honest, and that the intentions behind their actions are positive. Set aside your own judgements and preconceived notions. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Believe in second chances.
At the helm
So, how does a turf company have such an incredible culture? It really starts with a leader who believes in the potential of people. That believer is Joe Motz, a ‘typical Type A person’ as he describes himself. But typical he is not.
His parents are his biggest inspiration. Joe described his father (who passed away in 2013) as a ‘color blind’ man. “He was that way when it came to people,” Joe said. “We would come home to dinner and there could be a homeless person or the staunchest liberal there with eight kids (noting that his dad was a republican). They all came over the years. There was a senator. There was someone who was down on his luck. My dad treated them all equally and that impressed me. He taught me that no one would ever be below us. You should never see your pecking order as above anyone else.”
As for Joe’s mother, he remembers her saying on partly cloudy days, “What is the other part? Which part do you want to see?” From her he learned that you find what you seek to find. “It feeds into how you present yourself. Seek to find the good and that is what you find,” he told me.
In 1977, Joe started The Motz Group with a pick up truck and a shovel. “I got into it thinking I could build better grass than anyone else,” he said. “Then I quickly realized I needed a team. Then I realized what I was really doing was building people.”
What is he most proud of when it comes to his employees? “The trust that is real,” he said. “The pride in seeing them take ownership and realize what that means. The more you give, the more you receive if done in an honest way. It is really gratifying to see all that my employees are doing. I pinch myself with this team because they are a lot smarter than me.”
Yes, this is definitely a company where people matter!
Stay tuned to learn more about Joe’s upcoming 6500 bike ride across the Unites States to raise money and awareness for Parkinson’s.
Susan Wyder: Putting Community First
written by Sue Schindler
It’s 1980. Susan Wyder is a brand new 6th grade teacher. One of her students continually vomits each morning. Susan realizes that this child is pregnant. Thirty-nine years ago, society was not as supportive to pregnant girls-especially the very young ones. The girl’s parents want nothing to do with her or her baby. Susan eventually becomes this young girl’s home instructor and continues her close attention.
Even as a young teacher, Susan is first and foremost an advocate. She finds maternity clothing and baby items for her student at Valley Interfaith Center. Susan strongly sees the needs for these types of services in the Princeton City School District. She gains approval through Student Services Director, Mari Phillips by talking about the many students’ needs and how it would help them. This is the beginning of the Princeton Closet and Susan’s role as Princeton’s strong community leader and connector.
“The Closet is critical to Princeton. Susan Wyder’s dedication to provide clothes, supplies and other items are essential to those in need. She is simply amazing. I continue to hear stories about the help and support provided by Susan and specifically the Closet. The community is fortunate to have both,” Princeton City School District Superintendent Tom Burton shares with me.
Once housed in a small upstairs room of the now demolished Burton Building on Lippleman Road, the Princeton Closet recently moved from the Board Office and into the Princeton Operations Center, 11786 Highway Drive, in Sharonville to accommodate expanding needs. Susan admits some uncertainty with the most recent move. “It always seemed as if space was too small for Susan because she does a great job promoting the Closet,” says Dr. Phillips.
Still a strong, integral part of the Princeton family in her role as Associate Superintendent, Mari Phillips is instrumental with this move. “Sue has done a wonderful job in supporting students who are in need of clothing and food through her 501-3C nonprofit organization. With her move to her new location at the Princeton Operation Center, I told her that bigger and better things would come to her ministry, and it has. She goes out of her way to help students and families get what they need so that they can access their education.”
Susan is quick to point out, “Kids cannot learn if they are hungry, cold and have no school supplies.” When asked if there are any misconceptions about the Closet, she answered, “I know in my heart it is needed.”
In addition to her Closet responsibilities, Susan has also served on the Princeton Board of Education since 2011 and is a fundraiser for the Princeton Education Fund.
Princeton City School District sprawls through northern Hamilton County. The District serves over 5,600 students within 10 schools. Families reside in Evendale, Glendale, Lincoln Heights, Sharonville, Springdale and Woodlawn. The District also includes parts of Blue Ash, Springfield Township, as well as, parts of Butler County’s West Chester Township, Warren County’s Deerfield Township and the northwest corner of Sycamore Township.
Some 65% of students are on free or reduced lunch. Princeton City School District public schools have a diversity score of 0.72, which is higher than the Ohio average of 0.24. The most diverse district school is Sharonville Elementary School and the second most diverse elementary within Ohio.
Statistics only tell part of the story. Princeton is a story of strength and increasing graduation rates. They are recognized for their distinguished International Baccalaureate program in Princeton High School. Their 2019 graduate, Kevin Simmons, was one of only 300 national students who received the prestigious (Bill & Melinda) Gates Foundation Scholarship for academics and community service. Princeton’s Community Conversations regularly take place at local recreation centers for residents to talk about what is happening within the district- good and bad. Strong teamwork among school staff and community make Princeton a family. Their motto is, “Princeton empowers all students for college, careers and life success.”
Student and family’s needs range from the simple to complex. As with other districts, Princeton has surged in the number of grandparents suddenly and unexpectedly raising their grandchildren. 15 generous donors quickly responded when Susan posted a Facebook request to send 3 sibling grandchildren with disabilities to Camp Stepping Stones day camp, while their grandmother recovered from recent surgery. With Stepping Stones staff providing transportation, the siblings are safely enjoying the outdoors this summer as they participate in activities specifically designed for their abilities and success.
Susan invites me to the Princeton Closet at 8:30 AM. She’s held up by a train after picking up a check from a Princeton school principal. He writes a check for the Closet to pay it forward. Susan does more by 8:30 AM than most of us do throughout our day.
As the Princeton Transportation Department is also housed in the Operations Building, I stop to talk to several of the bus drivers who eagerly comment on the great work that Susan provides.
In turn, Susan shares the pivotal role the bus drivers take in making referrals. The bus and transportation drivers are the ones who see the students daily and are aware of their living situations. Drivers frequently hand out Susan’s business card and ask for parents to call. Referrals are especially high for shoes and coats. “They are amazing advocates for the kids,” she said.
During the recent 2018-19 school year cold snap, drivers ask why students aren’t wearing coats. When a student replies that he already outgrew his coat and his mother doesn’t have money for a new one, the bus driver has a coat ready from the Closet on the student’s drive home.
The walls of the Closet are lined with racks of all types and sizes of shoes. Winter coats hang from the middle of the room. St. Michael students organized and displayed the endless racks and displays of shoes and clothing by sizes and gender. Susan’s husband of 48 years, Walter, is responsible for building many of the shelves and does the heavy lifting.
Susan’s enthusiasm, connectivity, heart for the students and savvy for fundraising have established the Princeton Closet into a welcoming environment where community members eagerly volunteer. Phyllis McKinley is one of those volunteers and can be found at the Closet several days each week. She was a Mt. Zion Church Lady for 30 years. Now retired, Phyllis acknowledges that she initially came to the Closet as a skeptic. She quickly changed her mind after meeting Susan, and the rest is history. “Susan is awesome. She is on the move. I love it,” says Phyllis.
Phyllis eagerly shares stories about students benefitting from the Closet. One father drove his middle school-age daughter to downtown Cincinnati. He left her with nothing, so that she would not testify against him for a crime. When she called home for help, the father replied, “I’m holding your clothes hostage.” Fortunately, she made it to school, and her teacher reached out to the Closet. The girl received clothing and toiletries until moving in with a welcoming family.
The former Closet at the Board Office was the size of several classrooms. However, the new facility is even more expansive. As I’m shown the Food Pantry that was set-up by Phyllis, Susan shares that the canned items have pop tops. Many families, especially those living in hotels, don’t have access to a can opener. Non-perishable food is always needed for the pantry along with items not available through Food Stamps- toiletries, paper products and laundry and household cleaners. “All it takes is a bump in the road for a single mom to go homeless,” says Susan. Loss of a job or medical expenses can leave a family without housing. The closet even assists with temporary motel rooms costs, until the family gets back on their feet.
Community involvement is nothing short of miraculous. As we enter another room, racks are filled with clothing from the Western Hills Dillard’s Outlet Store. Donation value is $220,000! Phyllis, who was involved with unpacking most of the 250 substantial-sized boxes, shares that this Dillard’s donation provided many young women with lingerie that can be expensive and difficult to fit. The donations allowed for Princeton High School girls to wear new prom gowns, while the football team wore new buttoned shirts and ties on game day. Racks are lined with new swimsuits and clothes for all types of weather.
Princeton Closet collaborates and shares with many organizations, Matthew 25: Ministries received many items from the Dillard’s Outlet donations. The Closet benefitted from the First Presbyterian Glendale’s, “Fill the Glendale Square with Food,” Day” along with Valley Interfaith. Dan Regenold, CEO of at Frame USA, Inc., in Springdale, included the Closet as part of their “Fill The Truck and will be their July, “Charity of the Month.” Organized Living is providing volunteers as part of their 100 -year birthday celebration.
Princeton High School students, under the direction of Victoria Valerius, volunteer at the Closet to learn vocational skills. Students learn extensive sequencing skills by putting enrollment packets together for the district’s new families. They also assist in other ways. Susan is looking forward to increasing the Closet size this summer with the addition of tables, chairs and easy access for wheelchair users.
No doubt that all collaborations are special. One non-profit collaboration that especially is meaningful to Susan is the, “Missy 500.” Missy and her sister, Laura Haverland, were former students. Recovering from a knee replacement, Missy wrote Susan a heartfelt letter and sent a $500.00 check for the Closet. She unexpectedly died the next day. Missy’s family & friends started the “Missy 500,” to continue the memory of Missy’s very generous nature. They adopt a Princeton family at Christmas and make other donations. Missy’s cousin, Christian McCord, built Closet shelving in his fulfillment of St. Michael Eagle Scout requirements.
Julie Haverland, Missy’s mother, calls Susan, “an angel.” Julie and friends belong to another group, “Stitching for a Cause.” During the 2018-2019 winter frigid temperatures, water pipes froze at a trailer park near Stewart Elementary. Julie and her friends provided blankets for each family member.
When asked about the Closet and community’s future and needs Susan has several thoughts. Cash is always needed and appreciated. Cash allowed Susan and team to buy winter coats at a nominal cost when Sears Tri-County was closing. Additional plastic hangers are also needed.
Some 500 backpacks will be purchased and filled with school supplies for the 2019-2020 school year. Susan urges community members to make purchases in July. That’s the best month for school supply sales.
Community organizer, fundraiser, motivator, angel, confidant, and friend, Susan does it all. She is essential to the Princeton City School District as an advocate for those in need and someone who is there to share a story or offer a kind word. A favorite former teacher of many, she is someone who continually creates better lives for others.
Dr. Phillips emphasizes, “The Princeton Closet is like a dream come true to hundreds of students and families. When a family contacts Mrs. Wyder and shares with her their plight, she immediately does her ‘Susan Wyder’ thing and before you know it, she has received donations from countless people to help the family. You can see the smile on Susan’s face when she has helped a student and his/her family. It is a blessing to have her as our Board member and the CEO of the Princeton Closet. ‘Susan is the “real deal’. Her humble attitude and big heart help make the #Vikingdiff in the Princeton City School District.”
Rotary Club Honored CPS Teachers
Teachers who know how to bring out the best in their students are incredible gifts. As they lift minds up, they foster a love for learning, often character values, and sense of worth.
It was great to recently see The Rotary Club of Cincinnati honor Cincinnati Public Schools teachers who developed new programs, expanded education
Front row: Rotarian Doug Adams, Honoree Deidre Simpson, Honoree Brynn Thomas. Rear row, from left, Lisa Votaw, Rotarian Mike Vilardo, CPS Superintendent Laura Mitchell and Rotary Club of Cincinnati President Rick Flynn. Honoree Carrie McCarthy was not available for the photo.
beyond the classroom, and inspired students to personal and academic success.
Honorees included:
Deidre Simpson, honored as Innovator of the Year. When Simpson wanted to inject some real-life experience and excitement in her science classes at Evanston Academy, she turned to the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC.
Supported by GE Aviation, Deidre designed the nation’s first partnership curriculum where professionals from the Air and Space Museum interact with students via real-time internet connections. She also leads the school’s Robotics Team, which has received more than 25 trophies in the past eight years.
Carrie McCarthy, social studies teacher at Woodward High School, received the Teacher Leader award. Carrie is a mentor as well as teacher, focusing on student success both academically and developmentally. “She provides a safe place for students to learn, take chances, and build the skills to succeed beyond high school,” said Laura Mitchell, CPS superintendent.
Brynn Thomas, who teaches social studies at the School for Creative and Performing Arts, received the Community Service/Humanitarian Award. She creates opportunities for her students to engage in meaningful work and implement critical thinking, both in and out of the classroom. Brynn was responsible for bringing the African American Studies course to SCPA and develops projects that have real community impact. One of those projects had students doing research to map historically black businesses in the city.
Lisa Votaw, principal of Aiken High School, was named Administrator of the Year. In a school where 22 percent of the students are homeless or living transient lives, she has built a vibrant support system where students feel safe and can build the skills for a stable future. “She creates a culture where the students want to be at school, they want to learn,” said Mitchell.
The Rotary Club of Cincinnati was founded in 1910 as a service and networking organization with a mission to provide selfless service in the community and the world and to meet needs of children with disabilities. With close to 350 members, it is the largest Rotary Club in Greater Cincinnati. The Rotary Foundation is its philanthropic arm.
Bringing Hope to Parents When Their Lives Collapse
Written by Sue Schindler
It’s the nightmare of every parent to have the police knocking on your door-or-making that call, in the middle of the night. It’s watching your child succumb to a life-threatening illness, when you were confident that they would defeat it. It’s surreal walking in your child’s room and realizing that instead of sleeping, they have no pulse or response. It’s packing up the nursery and closing its door, as your baby is not coming home. It’s now living in a world 
that you never thought would happen to you, because it only happens to “other” parents.
Where does someone go after the loss of your child? The terror of having your child die is one that The Compassionate Friends, or TCF, know all too well. This is a group of survivors who share their stories of hope, grief and getting through. It’s not easy and not for the faint of heart. With love, support, courage and listening to stories, long-time members provide proof that life can be meaningful after the most devastating loss of all- the loss of a young, teen or adult child.
Karen Pinsky is one of three co-leaders at the Tri-County or Springdale’s The Compassionate Friends. Karen says that she “stumbled into the first 14 years” of leadership along with previous newsletter editor title.” Her original intent was to be in this position for 2 years. She and two other parents began the Tri-County chapter 4 years ago, as the need for another chapter presented itself. Members know Karen as the one who has met them at 11:00 PM to talk about their children. She’s also the one whose helped them get away from harmful or toxic relationships. Karen urges parents to take control of holidays, their children’s birthdays and death anniversaries. Get rid of the “shoulds” and do what’s best for you. You didn’t get a vote this would happen to your child.”
Currently, there are three TCF groups in the Cincinnati area: North, East (Lindsay Bibler,leader) West (Michael Urbisci, leader) Along with Karen’s co-leaders, Ed VonBargen and Michael Rapp, warm smiles, words of welcome and a very comforting demeanor to new members and those returning are offered each first Tuesday of the month from 7-9:00 PM at the North Chapter. Michael points out to the group of tonight’s 15 members, that parents from all different backgrounds and ages attend this group. Some spouses come together while others arrive single. Everyone grieves differently. Ed reads a list of TCF expectations. Confidentiality is a must.
TCF meetings offer a safe place where parents, grandparents and siblings can share stories about their loved one. Words can hurt, especially when grief is new and raw. Members find that family or friends can become impatient that they are not over the grief, while others might severe ties out of not knowing what to say. Parents talk about these hurts while also sharing stories about their children. “It’s helpful to know that you will see people in all stages of grieving.” Karen has witnessed many members transition from the anger of loss to rebuilding productive and even joyful lives. Members with more years of child loss, often stay in the group for years to support the newer members. Later in the meeting, a new member comments, “I’ve never had anyone I can talk to, before attending this group.” Others agree.
According to TCF Web site,“The mission of The Compassionate Friends: When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and isolated. The Compassionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family.”
Started over 40 years ago in England, “The Compassionate Friends was established in the United States and incorporated in 1978 in Illinois. Each chapter, along with the supporting National Office, is committed to helping every bereaved parent, sibling, or grandparent who may walk through our doors or contact us.” It is not religion-based.
“Our goal is to have HOPE.” “We share something so profound, that we become a family,” says Karen of this group. “We share what has helped us. We don’t need to tell people what they need to do.” People are not coming for miracles or time- tables for getting over grief.” We “never feel OK” with the loss of our child, but “life does get better.” “No one is expected to talk or share. Members can sit and listen if they want.” As Karen puts it, “You can come back from the depths of Hell.”
Karen’s son, Eric, died in a single car accident 22 years ago at the age of 23. His future was bright as he graduated in only three years from the University of Michigan’s Honors College and was on his way to becoming an attorney. Eric entered Duke University’s Master’s in International Law program on scholarship and arrived before classes started in mid-August 1996. Although receiving another scholarship offer from his dream college, University of Berkeley California after enrolling at Duke, Eric already called Durham, North Carolina his home.
It was 4:00 AM on January 8, 1997, when Karen heard the knock on her door. She had fallen asleep in the family room and was oblivious as to why a police officer was at her home. Although Eric’s accident happened over four- & one-half hours earlier, Durham police were first asked to wait until 9:00 AM before putting through “the call” to local police. Being a parent himself, the Durham police officer knew that Karen and Mike Pinsky needed this information sooner than later and defied orders, finally placing the call at 4am.
Unlike most parents, Karen’s experiences as a Registered Nurse at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital and a private pediatric office, exposed her to seeing other children die. Even so, she was not prepared when it happened to her family. Still in shock, Karen and Mike made travel arrangements to Durham while also planning a Celebration of Eric’s life and notifying family and friends of the unimaginable. Upon arrival, the family grappled with the funeral home staff’s “sales mentality” and postponement of viewing Eric’s body for hours upon hours.
Fortunately, family support and the support of friends helped especially during the early days of Eric’s death. Karen’s brother surprised her by flying in from another city to meet her family at the Durham airport. Duke University administration offered a free stay at the Duke University Inn. Duke’s students and staff wanted to have a memorial for Eric. Karen comments on how speechless she was with the huge impact that Eric’s life had on the other students and staff during such a short time. Eric’s University of Michigan’s roommate, who moved to New Jersey, came for the Celebration along with 400 family and friends. Fred Cook, Karen’s former Cincinnati Children’s Chaplain performed the ceremony.
Returning to Cincinnati, Karen shares that she was an emotional and physical “mess.” Her pediatric office co-workers stepped in for 3-4-months to give Karen time off to grieve. That doesn’t mean that she was “over” Eric’s death. Karen talks about a national survey asking how long it takes to get over the death of a loved one. The average response was 3 weeks. No one recognizes the deep pain and hole in the heart that the death of a child creates, unless they have also experienced.
Karen found online help before attending her first TCF meeting. “I walked in and saw people laughing. I wanted to leave. For the first 3-4 meetings, I sobbed. On the way into a meeting I said to Mike, “If our house burns down, all proof of our child is gone!” She felt enormous comfort when, during the meeting, another father expressed the exact same concern- proving Karen & Mike were in the right place.
What Karen didn’t realize is that people in TCF are in different years of loss. TCF meetings provide families and individuals of what it might look like down the years of loss. One- minute group members might be laughing, at other times, there is a much more serious tone She’s been astounded with the grit and resiliency of families and remembers in detail about attending her first National TCF Conference. Although the keynote speakers lost 5 children, “they were as giving as possible to others.”
Ways to Support Those in Grief
When I asked Karen for suggestions on how people can best support in grief, she said that the biggest misconception is that when it appears that people are moving on with their lives, that’s when the realization of the death is sinking in. You may see them as more talkative or back to their normal selves. In reality, it’s just hitting them that their child is gone.
Karen expresses frustration with the media’s role in death. “They never retract what is written.” They can say that there is “suspected” distracted driving or alcohol or drug use.” However, that’s not always the case. “I know one family where the daughter’s phone was on the floor after her accident. The media said that there was suspected distracted driving. The father checked her phone records and found that she wasn’t using her phone. Don’t assume that what the media reports are the final truth.
Other tips
- Be present
- Listen
- Don’t try to make it better. You can’t.
- Don’t compare. Understandably, it hurt to lose your dog, mom, neighbor, grandfather, but you are not an expert on grief.
- Don’t say to people, “Haven’t you gotten over this yet? Why haven’t you moved on?” If someone is having fun, we don’t ask them to move on. Why is this expected of people in grief?
- Mention the child by name. Don’t make that child the elephant in the room. Sometimes the parent needs permission talk about their child.
- The best thing is to say, “I don’t have any idea what to say, but I’m here for you.”
TCF welcome people at all stages of grief & loss and at all 3 locations. Sometimes people may have experienced a loss years ago, but it’s only now come to the surface. Others might feel stigmatized with the way their child died, while others might be uncomfortable with a child’s diagnosis. There is no judgement for any loss or number of months or years in waiting. With TCF, you will find hope and people who know what you are going through.
Besides monthly meetings, TCF North members meet for a 6:30 PM dinner at a local restaurant on the third Thursday of the month. This month is the Blue Goose in Sharonville, Ohio.
Their Annual Fundraiser is open to the public: 2019 “Painting With A Twist” fundraiser!
PRE-REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED by clicking here!
DATE: Monday, June 17, 2019
TIME: 6:30pm – 8:30pm (Doors open at 6pm)
LOCATION: 6196 Tylersville Rd. / Mason 45040
COST: $40 / person
PICTURE TITLE: Lake Moonrise
Locations, meeting days/times and contacts:
TCF of Cincinnati North 1175
Spring Grove Funeral Home 11285 Princeton Pike Cincinnati Ohio 45246-3701
Email: tcfofcincinnatinorth@gmail.com
Url: http://www.tcfcincinnatinorth.org
Karen: 513- 207-8714 or Ed: 513- 518-9358
7:00 – 8:30 pm 1st Tuesday of each month
Cincinnati Chapter (Westside): 1141 Chapter Number
Mercy Franciscan at West Park 2950 West Park Drive, Cincinnati Ohio 45238
Email: tcfcincywest@yahoo.com
Url: http://www.tcfcincinnatiwest.org
Michael: 513-205-8291
7:00 PM on the 2nd Wednesday of each month
Greater Cincinnati TCF – East Chapter 1969
8101 Beechmont Avenue, Cincinnati Ohio 45255-3190
Email: tcfcincyeast@gmail.com
Url: http://www.tcfcincy.com
Lindsay: 513- 652-7470
7:00 pm on the 4th Tuesday of each month (except December)
Finding Similarities Through Melodic Connections
Written by Sue Schindler
It was the third Tuesday of the month as I walked into the Melodic Connections studio at 6940 Plainfield Road in Silverton for their 5:30-7:00 PM Common Time community event. Common Time is the brainchild of Executive Director Betsey Zenk Nuseibh, to bring communities together through music.
Melodic Connections Executive Director Betsey Zenk Nuseibh with her son Ollie
Recently inducted into the University of Cincinnati’s College Conservatory of Music (CCM) as 2019 Distinguished Alumni of the year, Betsy is first and foremost a “disrupter” in music and community relations. It showed throughout the evening. Common Time is the culmination of years of “seeing what works” and taking the leap of faith. No one does this better than Betsey. She has the instincts to bring out the best in others as their spirits and confidence shines through.
Having high enthusiasm and anticipation, I wrote down my required purpose for the evening, “Blog Writer.” Purposes are shared at the beginning of the session to begin the overall connections and clearer understanding of each other. Per their website: “When we express ourselves with intentionality, we know we will arrive at a place that is better than before.”
Lynn Migliara, Melodic Connections development director welcomed me, as I entered the huge music studio that easily seats 60 musicians. I was one of the first to sit in a circle that was in the shape of a snail’s shell. It was filled with chairs; music stands and a variety of instruments. Lynn explained that this set-up ensures that everyone is included.
At these events, each member is a “musician.” Instrument selections range from guitars, keyboards, and a variety of percussion instruments. Percussion includes tambourines, hand bells, and egg-shaped shakers to snare & bass drums, to the more exotic: bongos, cabasas, conga drums and drums that mimic the sounds of the rainforests. Musicians are welcome to keep or change instruments as they desire. Those with vocal chops are encouraged to use microphones for singing. The night I attended (just as at each event) we played and sang at our level of expertise.
Lynn eagerly shared that Common Time welcomed Cincinnati Symphonic Orchestra members to one of their first events. Melodic Connections also offers weekly Common Time to Roll Hill Elementary in Fairmount, to increase relationships between its students and their parents as they learn to play guitar, keyboards and drum.
Through 15+ years of professional and personal contact with Betsey, I knew that night would be special. Betsey offered a warm welcome and shouted out 
our purposes for attending. Most wanted to make music and jam. Betsey introduced Common Time’s local musician of the evening, Jim Pelz, who sat in the center of the circle. Jim is a country-rock songwriter and performer who, when he’s not playing solo or with his band, Hickory Robot, sits in other local bands.
Lynn explained that each Common Time Musician of the Month goes through specialized training with Melodic Connections certified music therapists. As the purpose of the evening is community bonding first and foremost, music is fun but not perfect. Per website, “Music is the journey and not a destination.”
As Jim called out our first song, we grabbed our instruments, and were off to a robust start. The positive energy increased throughout the evening especially as more musicians, from young children to older adults, join the circle. Keeping up with finding the songs in the music book was challenging to me, as we covered a wealth of music of different styles and eras. Music ranged from the Beatles’, “Hey Jude,” to the Grateful Dead’s, “Ripple,” to Johnny Cash’s, “Folsom Prison Blues.”
Halfway through, we broke into circles of three. Betsey encouraged us to meet someone new during this time. We talked about what the event’s experience meant to us. My group was the exception of four as a young woman said that she was interested in meeting the musician sitting next to me. She liked his sporty red wheelchair and wanted to know more about him. He smiled and the two continued to talk. Everyone was having so much fun getting to know one another that there was hesitation with going back into the big group. Amy staid next to her new friend as we sang, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”
The History
Melodic Connections, a 501(c3) has provided community musical experiences for more than 2000 individuals in special education classrooms, adult programs, after school classes, summer camps and through off-site partnerships. As a former high school music teacher and music therapist, Betsey started Melodic Connections in 2008 after recognizing that students with disabilities can learn best when provided with alternative supports and teaching methods. Not only does Betsey and her staff of 12 certified music therapists provide community opportunities for her musicians, but she is now connecting the community to the Melodic Connections family through Common Time.
My history with Betsey goes back into early 2000, when she was a Cincinnati Public high school music teacher. As a case worker, we shared a special needs student who has Autism, whose parents tried to home school. Attending this middle & high school was his introduction into public education and a culture shock from being in his small home. This teen was frightened and struggled with focus and learning until Betsey came into the picture. Staff marveled with how easily this music teacher included the teen with the other high school students through playing percussion. Betsey’s skills and attention provided him with first step in focusing and gaining the social and educational skills that he desperately needed.
Throughout our daily lives, we are so involved with our own reactions or insecurities in knowing how to reach out to others that we don’t take the time or effort to know one another. Common Time reinforces that cultural, language, abilities, lifestyles, and/or personal experiences are to be celebrated. On that night, I saw and felt us as “one” group without labels or differences. We were alike in sharing common ground in music and our communications. As time ended, Betsey asked for evening observations. The group comments were, “Joy,” “Happiness,” “Friends,” and “Fun”. As I walked away still talking to others, I knew that I am a better person for this experience. I will return.
Everyone is welcome to join Melodic Connections studio on Tuesday, June 18, 2019 for the next Common Time with local musician, Dan Van Vechten, 9440 Plainfield Road, Cincinnati 45236.
Please visit Melodic Connection’s website for additional information on Common Time, classes and summer opportunities.
