Power of Positivity
(Guest blog post by Tami Boehmer, author of From Incurable to Incredible: Cancer Survivors Who Beat the Odds)
One thing I love about Lisa’s blog is that it focuses on positivity. When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002 at the age of 38, I vowed that I would not sink into self-pity. I continued doing what I loved, including taking care of my then three-year-old daughter, despite going through aggressive chemo. When it came back and spread to other parts of my body in 2008, it became more important than ever to live my life to the fullest and find hope in what seemed as a hopeless situation.
We went to MD Anderson in Houston for a second opinion. The oncologist there told me and my husband that I would die of breast cancer. When we were in the car, my grief turned into anger. “How does she know how long I had to live?” I said out loud. “She didn’t even know me!” At that moment, I affirmed I was going to prove her wrong.
I had always gained strength from other cancer survivors who had overcome the disease to lead flourishing lives. Faced with a dire diagnosis, I needed to talk with other cancer survivors who didn’t accept doctors’ predictions … people who beat the odds. And I was determined to find out how they did it so I could do it myself.
On one of my daily morning walks, an idea popped into my mind. “Why not write a book about other advanced stage cancer patients and how they beat the odds?” I thought it would be therapeutic for me, and more important, help others. I soon began interviewing cancer survivors from around the country for my book, From Incurable to Incredible: Cancer Survivors Who Beat the Odds. And I started a blog called Miracle Survivors, where I featured their stories and more, along with ways to heal the body, mind and spirit.
I shy away from news reports and studies that talk about poor survival rates. Statistics are just numbers that lump together a large, diverse group of individuals. They don’t apply to me, and they certainly don’t apply to the people I’ve interviewed for my book and blog. A perfect example is Ann, who was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in 1999 and has been cancer-free since Sept. 12, 2001. And there’s Dave, who was told 23 years ago he had six months to live and today is running marathons with no evidence of disease.
I’ve heard so many powerful success stories; it seems beating the odds of terminal cancer is more of a norm, rather than an exception. When I struggle, I think of how the people who shared their stories in my book and on my blog never gave up despite setbacks. And almost all of them are thriving today. It gives me hope and purpose, knowing I’m helping others get through their struggles, too.
I participated in an interesting Twitter live chat a few months ago on metastatic breast cancer. This was the first time I had done a live chat and I was interested in hearing other survivors. I and a few other individuals brought up the subject of hope, and I was a little surprised how the conversation turned to impassioned complaints of being pressured to be positive.
Then I read a guest post on a fellow blogger’s site about the same topic. She stated, “Breast cancer has not made me a better person. It has not transformed my life for the better. I have not gotten some insight into a level of spirituality I was hitherto ignorant of. I have not learned to appreciate the little things.” This obviously is a sticking point for many people.
No one should tell anyone how to feel. We all react to things differently, and it can be detrimental to your health to hold in feelings and pretend to be happy when you’re not. But I don’t think this a black- and-white issue.
Do I always feel grateful and happy? Of course not! I’ve had friends die and suffer immeasurably because of this disease. My family and I have suffered, to be sure. But I want people to know there is another side to this – and yes it is … (dare I say it?) positive.
Hi, I’m Tami and I’m a gratefully recovering pessimist. (“Hi Tami,” the group responds.) I have become an optimist because I choose (choice being the operative word) to remain positive despite negative statistics and reports.
The irony is that, although positivity and hope slowly became part of my MO, it was having metastatic cancer that kicked it into full gear. There’s nothing like a strong dose of mortality to make you realize that life is too precious to waste on being miserable.
If I get worried about death or getting sick, I work through it; then get on with living. My lovely daughter has a way of bringing me back into the moment.
Tami Boehmer is a metastatic breast cancer survivor, speaker, blogger and author of From Incurable to Incredible: Cancer Survivors Who Beat the Odds, available on her web site, Joseph Beth Booksellers, Cincinnati Good Samaritan Hospital gift shop, New Thought Unity Center, Whatever Works, Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com. Through the end of November, Tami is donating 10 percent of her proceeds to the National Breast Cancer Coalition (along with her continual 10 percent to LIVESTRONG). You can visit her at www.MiracleSurvivors.com.
Smile! …Please Pass It on
YMCA To Honor Greater Cincinnati Professionals
Their careers are in finance, graphic design, broadcast media, education, nonprofit management, strategic brand marketing, recruitment and retail. They have achieved milestones in their personal lives and their careers – and they ALL have a common interest in wanting to help young people succeed. On November 4, 2011 the YMCA of Greater Cincinnati will celebrate these 37 professionals as YMCA Achievers at the 33rd annual Salute to YMCA Black & Latino Achievers Gala. Unique to this event is that all YMCA Achievers are selected by their respective companies and commit to volunteering for the YMCA Black & Latino Achievers Program that motivates students of color to further their education and goals.
Honoree bios are here: 2011 YMCA Achiever honoree bios
Featured entertainer for the Salute Gala is David Garibaldi, who is known the world over for his amazingly unique stage entertainment combining exhilarating music with hip-hop moves as his arms flail with paint transforming a blank canvas into a graffiti-style masterpiece. David knows from his own childhood the important role of adults who care, or perseverance, and of believing in your dreams. It was as a young, impressionable boy growing up in unfriendly streets when he was first lured to the urban art called graffiti, but David’s ability to focus on bigger goals transformed that talent into a sought after performance artist who has been featured on MTV, NBC, PBS and others.
For the past several months, I’ve been spending a lot of time on the Salute Gala. My overarching role is to coordinate the messaging and communication surrounding it – which includes relationship building with the honorees and their circles, writing their bios, and this year putting together video snippets of them sharing their personal thought about the honor; coordinating the copy and graphics for much of the printed program; working with our three media partners, as well as other media and social media relations and other efforts to raise awareness about the Program and event; and writing the script for the Gala evening. This is my fourth or fifth year working on the Gala and it is such a meaningful project for me.
Listen to what Kimberly Forsyth, a 2011 YMCA Achiever honoree has to share.
2011 Salute to YMCA Black & Latino Achievers Gala
November 4, 2011 beginning at 6:30 p.m.
Bank of Kentucky Center on NKU Campus
To read about all of the 2011 YMCA Achiever honorees, please click here.
To learn more about the YMCA of Greater Cincinnati Black & Latino Achievers Program & the Gala, please click here.
To reserve your seat for the upcoming YMCA Salute Gala, please call 513-362-2012.
West End Branch Library Looking For Young Writers
It’s that time of year again. The West End Branch Library of the Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County holding its annual Mary E. Finley Memorial Essay and Speech Contest for students in grades 6 to 12 who either attend school or live in Cincinnati’s West End. Essays should be about what the Public Library means to them and need to be submitted by Saturday, October 22 to the branch. (805 Ezzard Charles Drive) The top prize is a laptop computer; and second, third and fourth place awards will be cash prizes.
Why the contest?
As a librarian Mary E. Finley had the power to make a meaningful impact on a young boy (and most likely many more) who grew up in Cincinnati’s West End. She was one of the first African American librarians hired by the Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County, retiring in 1972 after 44 years of service. She passed away in 2000.
Now in her memory that boy who has since grown up and followed her career path until his retirement – George Ferguson – is sponsoring this contest to inspire other students to enjoy reading.
“Mary strongly encouraged African Americans to learn to use the library and to make certain their children were avid readers,” said Mr. Ferguson. “I became a librarian in large part because of the strong encouragement I received from her. She was a remarkable lady.”
Group Health Associates Employees Filled 39 Backpacks For Beech Acres Kids
For parents with financial hardships who are learning through Beech Acres Parenting Center how to better help their children thrive, having to worry about paying for school supplies makes that job even tougher. Seventy employees of Anderson’s Group Health Associates removed that obstacle by donating school supplies for 39 children through Beech Acres’s Fill-A-Backpack collection.
The GHA effort led by Heather Murray, Allison Dill and Lindsey Laine through the company’s Care Committee. They created a ‘giving bus’ and posted tags with needed supplies on it. Employees chose a tag and purchased those items. Enlarging their impact, Dill recruited employees of GBBN Architects to donate additional supplies.
“This effort really builds employee morale. Because we feel great working together to give back to our community, we can give better customer service here,” said Dill, a certified medial assistant in pediatrics at GHA.
Thanks to the generosity of Group Health Associates and GBBN Architects employees, and other community donors, Beech Acres Parenting Center was able to provide filled backpacks to 150 children whose parents are working on strengthening their skills for nurturing positive growth.
Beech Acres Parenting Center supports parents and caregivers in the most challenging and important job of their lives: raising children today who are able to thrive tomorrow. With a mission of Strengthening Families for Children, Beech Acres provided over 17,000 services for children, parents and educators across greater Cincinnati last year with a broad range of unique services in homes, schools and in the community to strengthen parenting and relationship capabilities. For more information, please visit www.beechacres.org