People Who Inspire Me
In Memory Of My Mom
It has been such a long while since I have posted on my Good Things Going Around. Life has gotten in the way.
One of those reasons was my dear, sweet mom’s ailing health. It began with a bad fall that among other things cracked the back of her head open causing swelling and bleeding on her brain. About nine months later she was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia.
Mom always enjoyed reading my Good Things newsletters so I wanted to do a special post in her memory and honor. Continue reading
Lessons Learned From Miss Universe 2015
By now probably most people reading this have either seen the ending of the 2015 Miss Universe Pageant or heard about it. As I was watching it live, my heart sank as I witnessed what was transpiring before me.
While I ached for Miss Colombia who, after a joyous and tear filled celebration came to realize her reign was cut way too short, and for Miss Philippines who, stood in moments of complete confusion without an interpreter as she tried to piece together the confusion; I especially felt pain for the very kind, talented and usually fun-loving Steve Harvey who I had grown to love from watching him time and again on his hit talk show.
If we are honest with ourselves, we can admit his mistake of announcing the wrong Miss Universe is one that anyone of us could have made. The truth is, all of us have undoubtedly made mistakes – some bigger than others. They are part of this big classroom called life, and they give us opportunities to learn, improve and grow…if we are open to the lesson.
This past year when I was working on a large event, someone’s error caused some pretty big issues. To be honest, I don’t remember what that error was now but I remember it had a big impact on what we were working on. Instead of reprimanding we focused on moving forward and getting past it. I reminded that person that we all make mistakes and it is how we grow. We worked together as a team to find a solution, and in the end, that error was not in our way of achieving great success. The error also was never repeated again.
I most certainly have made plenty of mistakes in my lifetime, some made in unforgiving environments and others in environments where errors were not admonished but accepted as a mere bump in the road that could be overcome. I have also been lucky enough to have had people in my life and career who chose to take that opportunity when I was down to remind me of my strengths and ability to succeed.
Can you guess under which circumstances I was quickest to move past the mistake and go on to achieve great things, and under which circumstances I found myself in a continual pattern of errors? If we had handled the mistake differently toward our team member, how do you think our negative reaction would have impacted that person’s self esteem, motivation to get past it and even go on to better and more creative decisions, and overall joy in being part of the team?
Now, let’s look at what happened at the Miss Universe Pageant and beyond
Steve’s incorrect announcement was followed immediately with a forthright acknowledgement and ownership of his mistake, and subsequent apologies. Yes, he did misspell the countries of both Pageant contestants in Tweets that he wrote when his emotional state may not have been the clearest but he corrected himself. Although I have never met Steve, I think I can speak with much certainty when I say he no doubt was hurting A LOT from the experience – and probably will carry that weight for awhile.
It saddened me to see how the world was quick to make Steve Harvey a target for wide spread criticism on the internet and in traditional media for an honest mistake that could have happened to any one of us if we had been in his shoes. There are definitely larger, more far reaching world events right now with the capacity to inflict much greater harm. One thing my study of applied behavior analysis has taught me is that in order for this type of blaming, derogatory behavior to continue it must be being reinforced by something. That reinforcement could be in the attention received from comments to comments or reposts of posts or news stories; or it could be in the relief felt by taking the focus away from internal personal challenges or other world events. Steve may have been a prime target for a scapegoat.
Then, my other public relations side also sees this situation from a crisis communication standpoint. There were a number of things that were handled right and some examples from which to learn both in terms of crisis prevention and crisis management. I applaud Steve for taking the bull by the horn, taking responsibility and making a quick apology. Absolutely this is a lesson that even in the heat of the moment, taking a deep breath to collect yourself and have your facts accurate is very important as he learned when he misspelled Colombia and Philippines. The Pageant could have also created a list of potential mishaps such as that and made a plan for handling each one. In this case, it was a tremendously awkward half a minute or so while contestants, Steve, and the production staff were figuring out what to do next.
Those are some take home lessons that I hope were learned from the experience.
What are some additional lessons to Steve AND the Pageant to minimize the risk of this type of crisis in the future…and some lessons for us all?
For one, having absolute clarity in messaging is critical. I have read that Steve first announced Miss Colombia’s name as the Pageant Winner after reading it on a teleprompter. If that is what happened, there are a number of factors on the chain that should be looked at to ensure complete accuracy in EVERYTHING. But the other question is, why they needed something that important and that secret on both a teleprompter and a hand held card. (I am not sure if that is the case, but it may have been.)
And, let’s talk about that hand held card. In case you have not seen it, here is a photograph that is circulating online. I can see how it may be confusing to read, for an announcer under a lot of pressure on stage. When I have written scripts for major events, I have always written them so that the flow is very easy to follow.
Perhaps, instead of giving Steve a card like the one they gave him this year, in 2016, the card can read:
3rd Place – USA
2nd Place – Columbia
WINNER – Philippines
Much simpler and to the point.
Circling back
So, let’s look at this now from a compassionate human perspective.
I greatly applaud the Pageant’s quick announcement that they signed Steve Harvey to be a future host. Organizers gave him the respect that I’d hope every employer or leader would give to their employee or team member. They stood by him and showed the world in a big way that they still believed in him. (I personally do not think Steve is the only one at fault here, which makes me respect Steve all the more for publically taking the brunt of the blame.) AND, while it is private what conversations and decisions they have made behind closed doors, I bet that they have and are continuing to work together as a team to analyze what happened, learn from it and take steps that can not only prevent something like that from happening again but maybe even improve the whole process.
I also greatly admired Steve’s wife, Marjorie, for taking to Instagram the next day with this declaration to her husband..”You are a Stand Up Man and A True Class Act the way you went back on the stage on live TV and took full responsibility alone.”
As for the rest of the world, it is one of my wishes that those who felt the need and put forth the effort to quickly criticize Steve and knock him down further, that they take a look inside themselves to think about why they reacted as they did. And I hope that if they do, that they come to realize there is so much more to gain from practicing empathy, compassion and encouragement – not only to the recipient but to the giver as well.
I also hope that when Steve takes to the stage of the Miss Universe Pageant 2016, that the world applauds him for his integrity, his loyalty, and his resilience to move forward.
Remembering 911
We will never forget how today in history changed our nation, the world, families, communities and individuals. Let us never forget the people who were lost on September 11, or the heroes who so courageously risked everything to save the lives of others. If you have not see this video, please watch it.
A Random Act Of Kindness For A Little Boy And His Family
The other day I received an email from a friend, Christy Berning, that was sent to a large number of us. It told the story of a little boy and his family in an unfamiliar city living temporarily in our Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center as they battle health issues no little boy should have to face. They are on the waiting list for the Ronald McDonald House, which is about 20 days+.
Braylon – like Christy’s neice – has Dandy Walker Syndrome, a congenital brain malformation involving the cerebellum (an area at the back of the brain that controls movement) and the fluid filled spaces around it that causes seizures, physical and cognitive delays and many scary surgeries and hospital visits like the 
one he is experiencing now.
Doctors suspect that he may have a defect in his T-cells and are running some tests to determine whether he would be a candidate for a bone marrow transplant. If this is the case, it is a very long six-month process where they would completely wipe out his immune system starting with chemotherapy and rebuild it from scratch.
He would need to wait, however, until they could get his infection under control, because he is currently not stable enough to undergo the treatments. Additionally, Braylon has some major GI issues, and is currently connected to a central line for feeding. Prayers that they can get his feeding better to remove the line, since these lines carry with them a very high risk of infection.
I have been to our Children’s Hospital so many times. It is an incredible place where hallways are lined with bright colors and on any given day you may see therapy dogs or clowns or other volunteers roaming to take the seriousness away even for just a few moments.
Families like Braylon’s come from around the globe for the opportunity to seek medical treatment from the very best. Still, all in all, it can be a lonely journey with long hours of waiting, worrying, wondering and hoping.
So people like Christy who take it upon themselves to reach out and organize efforts to build a community around a family living at the bedside of their child are so incredibly meaningful. Christy asked us to write a card, contribute to a welcome basket or send another token gift, cook a meal, or just keep the family in our thoughts and prayers.
I’ll be sending along a card and Mylar balloons.
Christy and I had lunch this week, and we talked about how acts of kindness have such broad spread impact not only on the receiver but also on the giver. It is such a powerful gift we can give others and ourselves. And it has a way of spreading. I am in awe of Christy’s beautiful heart, and am inspired to give kindness to others.
Flashes Of Hope Cincinnati Photographs Kids With Cancer
There is something so powerful as to evoke raw human emotions. That something is a photograph, a reflection of the human spirit that can change how you see the world around you. And give you an everlasting gift of loved ones and experiences…and life.
I’ve written before about the work of internationally acclaimed photographer Rick Guidotti (founder of Positive Exposure), who I came to know and admire through my work with the Cincinnati ReelAbilities Film Festival. Through Rick’s lens, the world has come to see beauty in difference and difference as just another quality that makes us uniquely human.
Giving Flashes Of Hope To Kids
Another organization,
Flashes of Hope, is all about using photography to change the way children who have cancer and other life threatening illness see themselves (and raise money
photo by Helen Adams
for pediatric cancer research).
An annual report describes its purpose beautifully: “The images help the children see themselves full of strength and determination: cancer is not going to define who they are. But for too many families, it is the last photograph they have of their child. All of these children deserve a lifetime of memories and research is the only way to save more lives.”
Wow, talk about impact. I learned about Flashes of Hope when I saw some Facebook posts from a photographer I worked with years ago, Helen Adams. She is one of the founders and co-directors of the local chapter that works with Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center.
A visual artist who has spent over thirty years capturing the human spirit, Helen has been called upon several times by people wanting to have forever portraits of a loved one with little time remaining. “It is the greatest privilege to be asked to participate in that way, to give them such a gift,” she told me.
Ironically, it was when Helen was experiencing the wrath of cancer through her husband’s two biopsies and a client learning of a leukemia diagnosis that she found Flashes of Hope, based in Cleveland.
“When you are struggling with your own life, the best thing you can do is to be of service to other people,” Helen said.
She reached out to Mark Bealer and Vicky Daniels of Studio 66, and together they started the Cincinnati Chapter.
In their words
Mark, Vickie and Helen share on their Facebook page why they do what they do…
No matter how tired, stressed or busy the 3 of us are as photographers and entrepreneurs, parents and small business owners; We roll up to the hospital parking lot, walk in and all of that washes away while we bear witness to the struggles of the innocent children who many times live their life in the hospital, away from
photo by Helen Adams
their home cities and friends!
The children become our heroes, as we watch them sacrifice how they may feel that day, and provide gifts of pictures for their family. The kids seem to transcend into another dimension of selflessness as they smile, pose and energize the shoot, while at the same time they ignore their own limitations of perceived health and beauty.
While we may not currently have a personal connection to cancer, our motivation stems from a deep compassion for any child that suffers undue pain and misery. And, the Flashes Of Hope organization is a wonderful choice for us, providing not only the avenue of the aesthetic photograph, but also tangible relief of money for research for those we have come to consider as our Cincinnati Chapter kids.
Currently their Cincinnati Chapter has 20 volunteer photographers who give of their time capturing images of 8 to 15 kids a month at Children’s Hospital. Mitchell’s Hair Salon provides hair styling for those with hair and make up.
You can help by giving of your time or making a donation. To find out more, visit www.flashesofhope.org and click on ‘support’.
To see more of their photographs, please like them on Facebook.
