Enjoy The Small Steps
It was nearly three years ago when a beautiful young woman, who, at 21, was just reaching her adulthood, was taken from this world too soon. Katy Schindler got so much joy out of riding horses, strumming a guitar and playing baseball. Her face wore a huge smile every time her bat hit a ball. More than that, she simply loved life and savored every moment. Grudges were never part of her vocabulary. She had a gift for bringing out the best in others too, which no doubt, was why friends adored her. And why she was a shining star to her parents – my friends Sue and Bob Schindler.
Katy had all the qualities I admire in someone. I so much wish I could have gotten to know and enjoy Katy personally. I have come to know the incredible person that Katy was from her mother sharing the memories that Sue will forever hold in a special place in her heart.
Last week Sue gave a speech to our Toast of the Town Toastmasters Club about Katy’s graduation. It is a story that touched me and I have a feeling will touch you too.
Thanks Sue (and Bob), for sharing your gift with my readers!
Enjoy the Small Steps by Sue Schindler
May 25, 2014, my husband and I are sitting at the Cintas Center at Xavier University as we watch the Princeton High School graduates walk on stage. I know that I’m holding my breath and my heart is in my stomach…UNTIL, “Kathryn Marie Schindler” is announced. Our daughter has already walked up the make-shift steps to the stage. She’s gracefully accepted her diploma from Principal, Wm. Sprankles.
Bob and I are ecstatic! We hug; leave our seats and run down to greet Katy who is now in the hallway. We tell her that we love her and are so proud of her!
You may ask, “Sue, what’s so special about your daughter graduating? Students do it all of the time.” In 2014 at Princeton HS, students like my daughter didn’t participate in the graduation ceremony.
Katy was born with Cerebral Palsy. CP is a brain injury that causes motor damage. In Katy’s case, she toe-walks and could easily fall on the stage steps. She also is very anxious when others call attention to her. Just saying, “Katy,” could cause her to become anxious for minutes until she calmed down.
When I approached Katy’s school team in 2013, I’m sure that they thought I had 2 heads. Why make this difficult on Katy? The diploma can be sent through the mail. …..But that isn’t the vision we had for her.
Fortunately, Katy had a very smart and supportive school team. Her teachers, special education director, Kim Pence, or others never said, “No!” Instead, they were very respectful. They asked how this would look and immediately started putting a plan in place. That’s when our team became an even stronger village of support.
For starters, Bob, Katy and I attended the Princeton Graduation 2013. Although air horns and loud screaming were prohibited, it still happens. How would we help Katy get used to the noise?
In January 2014, we approached Xavier University events planners and they approved Katy going into the Center starting in March. By that time, the stage was set for the high school graduations. Katy’s caregiver, Clarice Simms, who was more like that big sister that she never had, and Katy would drive to Cintas after school. Clarice or I would yell, “Kathryn Marie Schindler,” as Katy navigated the stairs, stage and noise.
Instead of Katy waiting until the “S’s” were called, teachers, Jen Schell & Amy Liebat, arranged for Katy to receive her diploma in the beginning of the ceremony. Many of the students already weren’t alphabetized. They also practice with Katy at the Cintas Center. Jen arranges for Clarice to have a cap & gown so that Katy can walk in-between them. Katy can also leave the gym after receiving her diploma as the group walked back to their seats.
It’s now May 25th. Katy is on the bus with the other graduates to the Cintas Center. The moment is up to her.
Bob and I have some time before the ceremony. We stop into the FreeStore/FoodBank to pick-up t-shirts for the Hunger Walk they are sponsoring on Memorial Day. I’ve often been told that there are no coincidences in life. On this day, I believe it. I run into a former parent whose son I taught when he was 5 years old. Peggy was an advocate back in the day while students were still segregated. As I express my fears, she looks at me and calmly says,
“Would Katy have bought into the graduation ceremony a year ago?”
I say, “No. “That’s one small step and one victory.”
“Even if Katy just goes into the Cintas Center and runs out of the building, it’s a victory.” Instead of worrying, look at every small step as a victory.”
I took Peggy’s advise as I sat down that day and waited to see what happened. Katy didn’t disappoint and the look of accomplishment on her face was one I will always remember.
Sometimes I look back and wonder if we should have challenged her to be part of the 2014 ceremony. Those who were there, give us a resounding, “YES!” Their comments seem to be the same with mentioning “the look” on Katy’s face as she waited for us in the hallway. She knew she accomplished something very special.
So often in life we choose not to take that first small step out of fear of not accomplishing. However, if we take that first step, we can build and build and build into bigger steps.
I challenge you to take that first step and find the joy in doing just that. Not only will you have the pride of accomplishment, but you will also go onto bigger steps…. Just like Katy.
