cerebral palsy
Enjoy The Small Steps
It was nearly three years ago when a beautiful young woman, who, at 21, was just reaching her adulthood, was taken from this world too soon. Katy Schindler got so much joy out of riding horses, strumming a guitar and playing baseball. Her face wore a huge smile every time her bat hit a ball. More than that, she simply loved life and savored every moment. Grudges were never part of her vocabulary. She had a gift for bringing out the best in others too, which no doubt, was why friends adored her. And why she was a shining star to her parents – my friends Sue and Bob Schindler.
Katy had all the qualities I admire in someone. I so much wish I could have gotten to know and enjoy Katy personally. I have come to know the incredible person that Katy was from her mother sharing the memories that Sue will forever hold in a special place in her heart.
Last week Sue gave a speech to our Toast of the Town Toastmasters Club about Katy’s graduation. It is a story that touched me and I have a feeling will touch you too.
Thanks Sue (and Bob), for sharing your gift with my readers!
Enjoy the Small Steps by Sue Schindler
May 25, 2014, my husband and I are sitting at the Cintas Center at Xavier University as we watch the Princeton High School graduates walk on stage. I know that I’m holding my breath and my heart is in my stomach…UNTIL, “Kathryn Marie Schindler” is announced. Our daughter has already walked up the make-shift steps to the stage. She’s gracefully accepted her diploma from Principal, Wm. Sprankles.
Bob and I are ecstatic! We hug; leave our seats and run down to greet Katy who is now in the hallway. We tell her that we love her and are so proud of her!
You may ask, “Sue, what’s so special about your daughter graduating? Students do it all of the time.” In 2014 at Princeton HS, students like my daughter didn’t participate in the graduation ceremony.
Katy was born with Cerebral Palsy. CP is a brain injury that causes motor damage. In Katy’s case, she toe-walks and could easily fall on the stage steps. She also is very anxious when others call attention to her. Just saying, “Katy,” could cause her to become anxious for minutes until she calmed down.
When I approached Katy’s school team in 2013, I’m sure that they thought I had 2 heads. Why make this difficult on Katy? The diploma can be sent through the mail. …..But that isn’t the vision we had for her.
Fortunately, Katy had a very smart and supportive school team. Her teachers, special education director, Kim Pence, or others never said, “No!” Instead, they were very respectful. They asked how this would look and immediately started putting a plan in place. That’s when our team became an even stronger village of support.
For starters, Bob, Katy and I attended the Princeton Graduation 2013. Although air horns and loud screaming were prohibited, it still happens. How would we help Katy get used to the noise?
In January 2014, we approached Xavier University events planners and they approved Katy going into the Center starting in March. By that time, the stage was set for the high school graduations. Katy’s caregiver, Clarice Simms, who was more like that big sister that she never had, and Katy would drive to Cintas after school. Clarice or I would yell, “Kathryn Marie Schindler,” as Katy navigated the stairs, stage and noise.
Instead of Katy waiting until the “S’s” were called, teachers, Jen Schell & Amy Liebat, arranged for Katy to receive her diploma in the beginning of the ceremony. Many of the students already weren’t alphabetized. They also practice with Katy at the Cintas Center. Jen arranges for Clarice to have a cap & gown so that Katy can walk in-between them. Katy can also leave the gym after receiving her diploma as the group walked back to their seats.
It’s now May 25th. Katy is on the bus with the other graduates to the Cintas Center. The moment is up to her.
Bob and I have some time before the ceremony. We stop into the FreeStore/FoodBank to pick-up t-shirts for the Hunger Walk they are sponsoring on Memorial Day. I’ve often been told that there are no coincidences in life. On this day, I believe it. I run into a former parent whose son I taught when he was 5 years old. Peggy was an advocate back in the day while students were still segregated. As I express my fears, she looks at me and calmly says,
“Would Katy have bought into the graduation ceremony a year ago?”
I say, “No. “That’s one small step and one victory.”
“Even if Katy just goes into the Cintas Center and runs out of the building, it’s a victory.” Instead of worrying, look at every small step as a victory.”
I took Peggy’s advise as I sat down that day and waited to see what happened. Katy didn’t disappoint and the look of accomplishment on her face was one I will always remember.
Sometimes I look back and wonder if we should have challenged her to be part of the 2014 ceremony. Those who were there, give us a resounding, “YES!” Their comments seem to be the same with mentioning “the look” on Katy’s face as she waited for us in the hallway. She knew she accomplished something very special.
So often in life we choose not to take that first small step out of fear of not accomplishing. However, if we take that first step, we can build and build and build into bigger steps.
I challenge you to take that first step and find the joy in doing just that. Not only will you have the pride of accomplishment, but you will also go onto bigger steps…. Just like Katy.
A Life Lesson On Disabilities
What a wonderful story. Teaching and inspiring children to learn about differences, and equally important about what all of us as human beings share is such a valuable life lesson. Each of us, no matter our origin, our color of skin, our religion, our economic status, our mode of doing things has a desire to be included, valued, respected and loved.
Eiizabeth and Steve Wampler share this message with humor, genuineness and passion. They are among the truly incredible people who I had the fortune to get to know through my work with the ReelAbilities Film Festival. Steve uses a wheelchair because of having cerebral palsy. It is but one characteristic that you will notice about him, but what I notice first is his huge smile that lights up a room. He and his wife, Elizabeth, have such infectious warmth that radiates from them and when
Steve and Elizabeth Wampler visited the Ryan Seacrest Studio at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center
they laugh you can’t help but laugh along with them.
The reason they were in Cincinnati is because we were showcasing the documentary film about Steve journey as the only person with a disability to have ever climbed the magnificent El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. At twice the height of the Empire State Building, it took Steve 20,000 pull ups over 6 days, sleeping on the sheer face of the mountain and over-coming enormous fear to accomplish this monumental task (with his team).
Recently, Elizabeth shared this photo with friends and this story to go with it:
“Yesterday at the mall, this darling boy came up to us with his mom, and had some questions about Steve and his wheelchair.
That was wonderful, but what struck me was just how incredible his mom was. She was really brave, and asked her child if he
had any questions about Steve or his chair. It was brilliant. Steve answered questions until he seemed satisfied, and then they
went on a tiny little impromptu ride in a circle. I wish everyone was brave like this little man, it was just great all around! He is
SO young, but had a really pleasant experience, and got a head start at being comfy around people with disabilities.
Way to go, little man!”
– Elizabeth Wampler
Way to go Elizabeth and Steve for giving that little man an experience that will impact the way he sees people for the rest of his life!
About the Stephen J. Wampler Foundation
The Stephen J. Wampler Foundation’s mission is to make adventure programs accessible to all children, regardless of their background or ability. To provide outdoor adventure and environmental programs that foster their social and emotional growth, physical rehabilitation and environmental awareness for children with physical disabilities.
Inclusion Starts With Me (And You)
The United Cerebral Palsy of Greater Cincinnati brought to my attention an essay contest they held for children. The purpose? To encourage expression of the students’ own or observed feelings toward those who have disabilities, and the impact of those thoughts, with the goal that insight will foster togetherness.
Wow did that bring back memories. For eight years, my favorite annual project was helping to produce the Inclusion Leadership Awards Event – an event aimed at encouraging people to think outside the box, break down communication barriers, notice AND appreciate skills that had been under the radar. Our main communication goal was to inspire a world where people with and without disabilities work and play together not because they have to, but because they want to.
I was charged with developing those messages through the speaker, the script, the acceptance speeches and the videos so that guests would leave with a real sense of vision. In 2 ½ hours, attendees were to learn a lesson that would somehow change the world as they knew it. They heard stories of organizations that instinctively knew how to uncover talent, and of people whose abilities were no longer obscurities. Acceptance, we wanted them to realize, was not an abstract. Inclusion was not so much about ‘them’ but rather it was about ‘me’.
About ME. That’s a concept. Norman Kunc, our 2001 keynote speaker, had this to share. “In our society, we have already figured out that achievement and mastery lead to self-esteem. Where we have gone wrong is that we have forgotten that self-esteem can only come out of a context of belonging…we have idolized this ideal of independence and self-sufficiency. And what we have forgotten is that human beings need to belong…in the words of the music of Cheers, ‘where everyone knows our name and everyone’s glad we came.’ “
Actor Danny Woodburn, who normally makes a living provoking laughter, briefly left Hollywood in 2004 to remind our guests of a message from Mother Theresa, “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible tragedy,” he said.
Danny told us his story – the story of an actor, comedian and activist whose talents were born in the hardships of a world unaccepting of a medical condition. All too well, he pointed out; he knows the sting of rejection and ridicule because he has lived it his entire life. He still gets scripts that refer to him as a ‘midget.’
But, he said, he is lucky. Through his work he has had the ability to influence attitudes. Offensive words, he’s found, are generally rooted in misunderstanding and he unabashedly corrects producers, directors and other actors. Of his character on the NBC hit Seinfeld, he said, “All it took for the success of my character was an intelligent exchange of ideas and sensitivity to the issues of little people. As a result, both Jerry (Seinfeld) and I felt included.”
Danny’s candor has bridged cultural and generational gaps, and altered misguided perceptions. (Please stay with me, I’m getting to the connection with the essay contest.) He continued to tell us about his job after college teaching drama to 20 kids between eight and ten years old.
That first day he devoted to talking about himself. Most of the questions were pretty typical. “How old are you? How tall are you? Why are you that way?,” they asked.
Then it came. The comment that would open the door behind which acceptance stood poised and waiting. An indignant girl told Danny in front of the class what her father thought of him.
“To my daddy, you are just a midget,” she said.
Danny looked at her and politely replied, “Well your daddy is wrong. Nobody is just anything and that word to me is like a hate word. And we know hate words can affect people, how they can hurt people and how it is wrong to use them.”
After that day, Danny told us, his students wanted to have their acting class – with Mr. Dan.
“I think back and I think all it took was that one day of communication, including them in who I am and nothing else needed to be said,” he went on.
Wow. That’s powerful stuff, and yet, it really is that simple.
And that is why I was so interested in the United Cerebral Palsy of Greater Cincinnati’s project aimed at opening minds and dialogue, and encouraging young people to think about the impact of their words and thoughts and actions.
“Changing the attitude of one school aged child has the ability to influence an entire generation.” said Susan S. Schiller, executive director.
UCP presented Nicole Roberts, a student from St. Mary’s School, with a family pass to Kings Island for her essay entitled ‘Inspiring Swimmers with Amazing Attitudes.’ Below is an excerpt.
For the most part, I am a typical teenage girl. Nothing scares me. I’m not afraid of the dark, I laugh at horror movies and I absolutely love to ride roller coasters, the higher the better. However, when my mom suggested I volunteer to help the Special Olympics Swim Team, I was a little nervous. It wasn’t that I was scared of people with disabilities; instead I was scared of how I would act around people with disabilities. What would I say? How would I interact with them? Would I stare? 
Before I became acquainted with disabled people, I felt sorry for them. I was sad for them because they have to live with hardships that limit them for the rest of their lives. I thought they were completely different than I. Wow, was I wrong! Now I see that people with disabilities are just like everyone else. They love to watch the same television shows, they go to school, they go to the movies, and even have sleepovers with their friends. They have hopes and dreams for the future, just like we all do.
My work with these amazing people has taught me so much. However, the most important lesson I’ve learned is that people with disabilities have abilities too. It’s not about what they can’t do, but should be about what they can do, what they give to society and how they inspire others. I think of my fearless swimmers when I hear these words from Thomas Jefferson, ‘Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.’ They’ve showed me that attitude is the key as to whether you will succeed or fail. My new friends definitely have the right attitude!
Just as in Danny’s classroom, all it took for the word ‘disability’ to become transparent in Nicole’s eyes was for her to get to know others who do things differently.
Who have you gotten to know lately?
I feel truly blessed to be able to say I have gotten to know Danny, not just as an actor, speaker, comedian, and humanitarian, but as a friend. Such depth of human character is a true gift.
