Cincinnati nonprofit organization
Mini Horses That Brighten Days
It is the greatest gift when you find a path to pursue where your heart leads. Lora Melin has found that gift.
Having grown up with the companionship of horses, it is perfectly perfect that for the past 12 years she has passed that love down to her daughter, 
Maggie. The family lives on a horse farm in Lebanon, Ohio…with, of course, their animals – five mini and two full sized horses.
However, the horses have come to have an even more special meaning in their lives. At 2, Maggie was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and if you know anything about that disease, you know it is very high maintenance to maintain good quality of life. The experience has taught her a lot about responsibility and compassion. It has given her empathy for others who have their own personal challenges or differences. It has made her into the young woman who is drawn to those feeling excluded. And become the driving force behind Maggie’s goal of becoming a special education teacher one day.
Through it all, the family’s large pets were invaluable helping Maggie to deal with her chronic stress – with her mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.
And now, Lora is passing this gift on to as many people as she can reach with their nonprofit called Maggie’s Mini Therapy Horses. They partner with organizations that support people with disabilities or chronic illnesses and have programs for schools; hospitals; hospice; local police & fire departments and other organizations that may benefit from animal assisted therapy.
Running the organization is no small feat. It begins with having the right horses. Then, since their natural instinct is to run when something scares them, there is a lot of desensitization training that needs to be done. The mini therapy horses need to be able to walk on different surfaces, hear all kinds of noises without being spooked, interact with wheelchairs and other mobility devices, etc. There is also the daily care that goes into raising healthy and enriched animals.
And, on outing days, it isn’t as simple as putting a horse in a car. Volunteers spend several hours grooming the horses before moving them into a trailer 
headed for their destination. On average each of the therapy horses go on two visits per week. They regularly visit the Dayton’s Children’s Hospital, Lindner Center of Hope, Bethany Village, the Ronald McDonald House and Otterbein Retirement Community. They also attend events for the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation, the local police department and others.
Interested in getting involved? Maggie’s Mini Therapy Horses is need of donations and volunteers. You can find more information on their website.
Bringing Hope to Parents When Their Lives Collapse
Written by Sue Schindler
It’s the nightmare of every parent to have the police knocking on your door-or-making that call, in the middle of the night. It’s watching your child succumb to a life-threatening illness, when you were confident that they would defeat it. It’s surreal walking in your child’s room and realizing that instead of sleeping, they have no pulse or response. It’s packing up the nursery and closing its door, as your baby is not coming home. It’s now living in a world 
that you never thought would happen to you, because it only happens to “other” parents.
Where does someone go after the loss of your child? The terror of having your child die is one that The Compassionate Friends, or TCF, know all too well. This is a group of survivors who share their stories of hope, grief and getting through. It’s not easy and not for the faint of heart. With love, support, courage and listening to stories, long-time members provide proof that life can be meaningful after the most devastating loss of all- the loss of a young, teen or adult child.
Karen Pinsky is one of three co-leaders at the Tri-County or Springdale’s The Compassionate Friends. Karen says that she “stumbled into the first 14 years” of leadership along with previous newsletter editor title.” Her original intent was to be in this position for 2 years. She and two other parents began the Tri-County chapter 4 years ago, as the need for another chapter presented itself. Members know Karen as the one who has met them at 11:00 PM to talk about their children. She’s also the one whose helped them get away from harmful or toxic relationships. Karen urges parents to take control of holidays, their children’s birthdays and death anniversaries. Get rid of the “shoulds” and do what’s best for you. You didn’t get a vote this would happen to your child.”
Currently, there are three TCF groups in the Cincinnati area: North, East (Lindsay Bibler,leader) West (Michael Urbisci, leader) Along with Karen’s co-leaders, Ed VonBargen and Michael Rapp, warm smiles, words of welcome and a very comforting demeanor to new members and those returning are offered each first Tuesday of the month from 7-9:00 PM at the North Chapter. Michael points out to the group of tonight’s 15 members, that parents from all different backgrounds and ages attend this group. Some spouses come together while others arrive single. Everyone grieves differently. Ed reads a list of TCF expectations. Confidentiality is a must.
TCF meetings offer a safe place where parents, grandparents and siblings can share stories about their loved one. Words can hurt, especially when grief is new and raw. Members find that family or friends can become impatient that they are not over the grief, while others might severe ties out of not knowing what to say. Parents talk about these hurts while also sharing stories about their children. “It’s helpful to know that you will see people in all stages of grieving.” Karen has witnessed many members transition from the anger of loss to rebuilding productive and even joyful lives. Members with more years of child loss, often stay in the group for years to support the newer members. Later in the meeting, a new member comments, “I’ve never had anyone I can talk to, before attending this group.” Others agree.
According to TCF Web site,“The mission of The Compassionate Friends: When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and isolated. The Compassionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family.”
Started over 40 years ago in England, “The Compassionate Friends was established in the United States and incorporated in 1978 in Illinois. Each chapter, along with the supporting National Office, is committed to helping every bereaved parent, sibling, or grandparent who may walk through our doors or contact us.” It is not religion-based.
“Our goal is to have HOPE.” “We share something so profound, that we become a family,” says Karen of this group. “We share what has helped us. We don’t need to tell people what they need to do.” People are not coming for miracles or time- tables for getting over grief.” We “never feel OK” with the loss of our child, but “life does get better.” “No one is expected to talk or share. Members can sit and listen if they want.” As Karen puts it, “You can come back from the depths of Hell.”
Karen’s son, Eric, died in a single car accident 22 years ago at the age of 23. His future was bright as he graduated in only three years from the University of Michigan’s Honors College and was on his way to becoming an attorney. Eric entered Duke University’s Master’s in International Law program on scholarship and arrived before classes started in mid-August 1996. Although receiving another scholarship offer from his dream college, University of Berkeley California after enrolling at Duke, Eric already called Durham, North Carolina his home.
It was 4:00 AM on January 8, 1997, when Karen heard the knock on her door. She had fallen asleep in the family room and was oblivious as to why a police officer was at her home. Although Eric’s accident happened over four- & one-half hours earlier, Durham police were first asked to wait until 9:00 AM before putting through “the call” to local police. Being a parent himself, the Durham police officer knew that Karen and Mike Pinsky needed this information sooner than later and defied orders, finally placing the call at 4am.
Unlike most parents, Karen’s experiences as a Registered Nurse at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital and a private pediatric office, exposed her to seeing other children die. Even so, she was not prepared when it happened to her family. Still in shock, Karen and Mike made travel arrangements to Durham while also planning a Celebration of Eric’s life and notifying family and friends of the unimaginable. Upon arrival, the family grappled with the funeral home staff’s “sales mentality” and postponement of viewing Eric’s body for hours upon hours.
Fortunately, family support and the support of friends helped especially during the early days of Eric’s death. Karen’s brother surprised her by flying in from another city to meet her family at the Durham airport. Duke University administration offered a free stay at the Duke University Inn. Duke’s students and staff wanted to have a memorial for Eric. Karen comments on how speechless she was with the huge impact that Eric’s life had on the other students and staff during such a short time. Eric’s University of Michigan’s roommate, who moved to New Jersey, came for the Celebration along with 400 family and friends. Fred Cook, Karen’s former Cincinnati Children’s Chaplain performed the ceremony.
Returning to Cincinnati, Karen shares that she was an emotional and physical “mess.” Her pediatric office co-workers stepped in for 3-4-months to give Karen time off to grieve. That doesn’t mean that she was “over” Eric’s death. Karen talks about a national survey asking how long it takes to get over the death of a loved one. The average response was 3 weeks. No one recognizes the deep pain and hole in the heart that the death of a child creates, unless they have also experienced.
Karen found online help before attending her first TCF meeting. “I walked in and saw people laughing. I wanted to leave. For the first 3-4 meetings, I sobbed. On the way into a meeting I said to Mike, “If our house burns down, all proof of our child is gone!” She felt enormous comfort when, during the meeting, another father expressed the exact same concern- proving Karen & Mike were in the right place.
What Karen didn’t realize is that people in TCF are in different years of loss. TCF meetings provide families and individuals of what it might look like down the years of loss. One- minute group members might be laughing, at other times, there is a much more serious tone She’s been astounded with the grit and resiliency of families and remembers in detail about attending her first National TCF Conference. Although the keynote speakers lost 5 children, “they were as giving as possible to others.”
Ways to Support Those in Grief
When I asked Karen for suggestions on how people can best support in grief, she said that the biggest misconception is that when it appears that people are moving on with their lives, that’s when the realization of the death is sinking in. You may see them as more talkative or back to their normal selves. In reality, it’s just hitting them that their child is gone.
Karen expresses frustration with the media’s role in death. “They never retract what is written.” They can say that there is “suspected” distracted driving or alcohol or drug use.” However, that’s not always the case. “I know one family where the daughter’s phone was on the floor after her accident. The media said that there was suspected distracted driving. The father checked her phone records and found that she wasn’t using her phone. Don’t assume that what the media reports are the final truth.
Other tips
- Be present
- Listen
- Don’t try to make it better. You can’t.
- Don’t compare. Understandably, it hurt to lose your dog, mom, neighbor, grandfather, but you are not an expert on grief.
- Don’t say to people, “Haven’t you gotten over this yet? Why haven’t you moved on?” If someone is having fun, we don’t ask them to move on. Why is this expected of people in grief?
- Mention the child by name. Don’t make that child the elephant in the room. Sometimes the parent needs permission talk about their child.
- The best thing is to say, “I don’t have any idea what to say, but I’m here for you.”
TCF welcome people at all stages of grief & loss and at all 3 locations. Sometimes people may have experienced a loss years ago, but it’s only now come to the surface. Others might feel stigmatized with the way their child died, while others might be uncomfortable with a child’s diagnosis. There is no judgement for any loss or number of months or years in waiting. With TCF, you will find hope and people who know what you are going through.
Besides monthly meetings, TCF North members meet for a 6:30 PM dinner at a local restaurant on the third Thursday of the month. This month is the Blue Goose in Sharonville, Ohio.
Their Annual Fundraiser is open to the public: 2019 “Painting With A Twist” fundraiser!
PRE-REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED by clicking here!
DATE: Monday, June 17, 2019
TIME: 6:30pm – 8:30pm (Doors open at 6pm)
LOCATION: 6196 Tylersville Rd. / Mason 45040
COST: $40 / person
PICTURE TITLE: Lake Moonrise
Locations, meeting days/times and contacts:
TCF of Cincinnati North 1175
Spring Grove Funeral Home 11285 Princeton Pike Cincinnati Ohio 45246-3701
Email: tcfofcincinnatinorth@gmail.com
Url: http://www.tcfcincinnatinorth.org
Karen: 513- 207-8714 or Ed: 513- 518-9358
7:00 – 8:30 pm 1st Tuesday of each month
Cincinnati Chapter (Westside): 1141 Chapter Number
Mercy Franciscan at West Park 2950 West Park Drive, Cincinnati Ohio 45238
Email: tcfcincywest@yahoo.com
Url: http://www.tcfcincinnatiwest.org
Michael: 513-205-8291
7:00 PM on the 2nd Wednesday of each month
Greater Cincinnati TCF – East Chapter 1969
8101 Beechmont Avenue, Cincinnati Ohio 45255-3190
Email: tcfcincyeast@gmail.com
Url: http://www.tcfcincy.com
Lindsay: 513- 652-7470
7:00 pm on the 4th Tuesday of each month (except December)
Adopt A Book Has Given These Teens Passion
How time has flown! It was in December of 2011 when Hannah and Alexander (Alex) Laman – with help from their mom, Angela – were eight-year-olds inspired to share their love of reading with children who were less fortunate. They began collecting books from neighbors, community groups, classmates, and family and next thing I learned Adopt A Book, Inc. was registered as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.
Now those young kids are teenagers and their organization continues to grow. As of April, 2019, Adopt A Book has collected and 
donated close to 160,000 books. Schools, shelters, and health clinics/hospitals such as Hamilton County HeadStart programs and Healthsource of Ohio health clinic are among some of our most common recipients. Many of the kids who get those books have never been to a library, don’t have access to a library, or have never owned a book of their own.
I thought it’s be a great time to reach out to the Lehman’s to get an update on their work and their passion.
Lisa: You were in the 3rd grade when you began Adopt-A-Book. Where did the idea and inspiration come from?
(Hannah) – Alex and I had heard of schools who were less fortunate and didn’t have access to books or libraries. We had grown up reading and going to the library so we wanted to help other kids share our love of reading.
Lisa: What motivates you to keep working at it, as you are both now teenagers?
(Alex) – We are motivated by the idea that even the smallest thing can make a difference, and we want to continue spreading our love of literacy and learning any way that we can.
Lisa: What has Adopt A Book taught you about philanthropy and giving back?
(Hannah) – It has taught me that giving back is something that you’re never too old to do, and no matter what you’re doing you are still making a difference. It has humbled me as a person and made me much more grateful for all that I have.
Lisa: Do you now see yourself being a lifelong philanthropist? What does that mean to you?
(Alex) – Yes, I don’t think I will ever want to stop giving back to my community. That means putting others before myself, and doing anything that I can to help the community. Sharing the gift of literacy is such an important thing to do, and there will always be a new generation of kids to give it to.
Lisa: What is your favorite book?
(Hannah) – Alex and I have loved to read for almost our entire lives. I am very interested in realistic fiction and horror novels while Alex enjoys nonfiction and historical fiction.
Lisa: Are you involved with any other extracurricular activities at school? And how do you manage your time?
(Angela) – Hannah is a part of the drum line and percussion section in concert band, and she is also involved in student council. Alex runs cross country in the fall, is a part of the academic team in the winter, and is involved in the science bowl and science olympiad teams.
During Rhonda Moore’s Tenure, Pro Seniors Is Nationally Recognized
After dedicating the past 17 years at the helm of a team of educators and fighters for the rights and quality of life for seniors, Rhonda Moore is preparing for her next chapter – a well deserved retirement. During her tenure, Pro Seniors has grown to become a nationally recognized advocate for older Ohians; and I thought, I couldn’t let her leave without a tribute and thank you to her for tireless leadership.
Rhonda has been honored by the Ohio Legal Assistance Foundation with the 2015 Denis J. Murphy Award for her outstanding leadership and 
advocacy for Ohio’s seniors and by the Council on Aging of Southwestern Ohio with the 2017 Outstanding Professional in Aging Award.
If you are not familiar with Pro Seniors, you should be because all of us at some point in our lives will be impacted by their work. The nonprofit is dedicated to empowering and protecting older people through the myriad of legal issues that come up as we age. It gives free legal advice to anyone 60 or over, and its ombudsman program offers client-focused advocacy to protect the rights of those in long-term term care facilities.
Rhonda and her team have been instrumental in starting and expanding numerous services. In 2001, she partnered with Elder Law of Michigan to offer the Pension Rights Program, which now has two attorneys dedicated to pension rights and to date, has recovered over $49,000,000 in retirement benefits. In 2014, the Pro Seniors’ hotline was recognized by the Center for Elder Rights Advocacy as the most efficient hotline in the country, and continues as one of the most productive, handling 6,503 clients for just $41.19 a call. In 2002, Rhonda secured another federal grant to fund Senior Medicare Patrol, a statewide program that teaches seniors how to avoid Medicare fraud and identity theft.
She is a passionate and tireless leader who makes things happen through collaboration and determination.. She brought top leaders in Ohio aging organizations and legal aids to together to collectively strengthen legal services for older adults. And, during her tenure, Pro Seniors pursued justice in two federal class actions that improved the financial security of Ohio veterans and low-income seniors.
With so many accomplishments, one in particular that makes her smile is the creation of the organization’s annual Seniors who Rock Awards event that highlights three or four honorees each year.. “That came about from seeing the prevalence of how ageism is depicted in the media, usually pretty negative. We wanted to put a spotlight on the good that seniors contribute to society and how many are still very vibrant and active,” Rhonda told me.
“I’ve been very privileged to be a part of Pro Seniors for the last eighteen years and play a role in securing access to justice for Ohio seniors. My role is a supporting role, however, and it’s really the fine advocates on Pro Seniors’ staff who carry out our mission. Our lawyers – as well as our ombudsman, SMP advocates and administrative staff – really do change lives,” she said. “Our economy has gone through tough times, We lost a lot of funding while seniors have more needs. I’m proud that we were able to keep our services in place and build other sources of revenue to serve them. We’ve added programs. Done thoughtfully and focused on protecting seniors’ legal rights. We’ve expanded our services and maintained.”
Before joining ProSeniors, Rhonda’s career included 14 years in private practice, first at Frost & Jacobs and then at Graydon Head & Ritchey LLP, concentrating in the areas of estate planning and estate administration.
Christine Buttress, who worked with Moore at Graydon Head and has been a long-time board member at Pro Seniors, spoke about her colleague, “I know Moore as a person of the highest integrity and commitment to her values. She is an established leader in the aging network in Southwestern Ohio and contributes daily to helping seniors resolve their legal and long-term care issues.”
This Teacher Awakens Souls
Passionate teachers have such power to nurture and empower lives. Like soil, light and water is to seedlings, they are the nourishment from which beautiful blossoms grow. Their greatest satisfaction often comes through watching as hurdles are broken down and dreams take flight.
Nick Rose-Stamey is among these life changers. Now program manager at the Music Resource Center – a Cincinnati nonprofit teen center in Walnut Hills that blends performing arts with life skills mentoring to help young people discover and pursue their inner talent and strengths, Nick found his calling when working at Elementz, an Over-the-Rhine hip hop youth center sharing a similar vision.
It happened around six years ago. One day he was sitting in his cubicle at Pure Romance where he spent much of his time as a copywriter, and it occurred to him. “I wasn’t happy,” he told me. “When I was truly happy was the hours that I spent volunteering at Elementz. I realized THAT is what fed my soul.”
Soon after, he left that job to pursue plans that were barely made. Nick began teaching guitar lessons but then, after about a month, everything dried up. It was the winter of 2015 when he zeroed out his bank account, calling his parents in tears.
That is when fate stepped in. Elementz got a grant. They hired Nick to make community concerts with My Cincinnati (a free youth orchestra program in Cincinnati), and those concerts packed Woodward Theatre.
It was the start of Nick’s beginning as a teacher. His first class at Elementz was called Studio E, where junior high school students learned how to record productions. That core group of youth are now graduating high school. It is Nick’s proudest joy.
Recently Nick shared this with his friends on Facebook and I asked him if I could share it with the greater world, as it speaks to his heart and his journey….
Nick’s Own Words
This is a really emotional post for me to write.
This week one of my students asked me to write a letter of recommendation for their application to the jazz program at the Oberlin Conservatory Of Music.
It’s a big deal. And I’m totally confident they’ll make it.
But while writing this letter, I started to reflect on my own experiences. What came to me was that feeling of pressure; like dropping into senior year all over again. The pressure to decide who you are NOW, what you want to do NOW, what you stand for NOW!!
It made me laugh. Because I never went to music school. I graduated with an English degree, worked in advertising for what felt like forever. Then I jumped ship. I quit my comfortable corporate gig and pursued this (at the time) spontaneous dream of making a difference through music.
It did not go well, at first. I lost everything. I failed. But I did not give up.
Then, over time, things worked out. I started a music program with Elementz Urban Arts and played a lot of incredible shows. Then I got to try my hand at revamping a struggling music program. And, 2 years later. it’s doing really, really well!
So to my kiddos who are graduating this year, there are a million directions you can take in life.
I can’t lie. The pressure will always be there to pick certain paths over other ones. To make decisions that lead to a high-paying job, something sensible or a cookie-cutter lifestyle. I won’t tell you not to pursue these options. I only ask that no matter where you go, always take the way that makes you happy. Because you can have everything in the world but feel like you have nothing too.
Find your dream. See it through.
Even if it doesn’t work right now, you can always try again later.
Rock on guys!
Rock on Nick…keep making dreams come true!
